Sunday, February 1, 2009

ANOREXIA: IN MEMORY OF ALICE RAE...

Alice Rae anorexiaAlice Rae


Death came in the night, while she was sleeping.

Alice was only 18 when she suddenly died during the night of January 14, 2009. Her mother, Dr. Christine Rae, found Alice dead in bed.



Alice Rae anorexia

"Alice was not very well but then her death was very sudden. I found her. She died in her sleep," said Alice's mother, Dr. Rae. "It is such a tragedy, it really is. She was such a lovely girl, beautiful and clever. We were very proud of her. But she had become very very thin. She had been going through a bad patch. In the last year she really deteriorated. I do not know what caused her anorexia. She had treatment with many people. She had been very ill for two years...her death was very sudden."

Alice Rae anorexia

Alice's future was bright. She had received an offer of placement at Cambridge University to study Economics.

Alice developed anorexia two years ago, in 2007. She had received treatment at an eating disorder clinic In Eastleigh, UK. Her care at the clinic is undergoing a full review as Alice's family were not happy with the treatment she received there.


Alice Rae anorexia

Alice's funeral was held this past Friday, January 30th, 2009:

From thisishampshire.net:

"Funeral for Alice Rae who died after anorexia battle"
6:06pm Friday 30th January 2009

"Friends and family of a gifted student who died after a two-year battle with anorexia gathered for her funeral today.

Alice Rae, 18, from Houghton, near Winchester, was buried following a service in All Saints Church, Houghton, attended by more than 130 people.

The clergyman who conducted the funeral described it as a 'very moving and beautiful' tribute to a 'very special person.'

Miss Rae's body was taken into the church in a wicker coffin chosen by her family which was covered with pink roses.

Miss Rae's brothers and sister William, Tom and Georgina spoke movingly about the life of their sister, while friends also took part in the service.

The student's friends offered their own reflections on the teenager and read the poem Death Is Nothing At All by Canon Henry Scott-Holland.

As well as prayers and readings, the congregation sang the hymns Lord Of All Hopefulness, Lord Of The Dance and Abide With Me.

The Rev Ronald Corne, Rector of Broughton with Bossington and Houghton and Mottisfont, who conducted the service, said afterwards: 'All the young people spoke movingly of her sister and friend, of what a lovely girl she was, and how much they were all going to miss her.

Alice Rae anorexia

'The funeral service for Alice Rae was obviously heartbreaking and poignant but it was also filled with great thanksgiving for the gift of a very special person and her life.

'It was a very moving and beautiful service but of course extremely difficult.

'The service was also an important element in assisting Alice's family and friends in their grieving and in the eventual process of healing.

'The church and especially the ministry team will continue to care for the family and will be supporting them with pastoral care in the days and months to come.

'At this stage the family feel unable to speak publicly about the loss of their daughter and appreciate some time and space to come to terms with their grief.'

Miss Rae had finished her A-levels and had a place at Gonville & Caius College, Cambridge, at the time of her death.

Alice Rae anorexia

She was found dead in her bed by her GP mother, Dr Christine Rae, at the home she shared with her mother and father Peter, a company director, on Wednesday January 14.

Before the funeral, Dr Helen Harvey, headmistress of the private St Swithun's School in Winchester, said: 'I was very upset and shocked to hear of Alice's death following her two year battle with anorexia.

'She left St Swithun's three years ago having achieved 9 A*s at GCSE and during her time here, I remember her as a highly intelligent, happy, well-liked member of the school community who played a full part in school life and had huge potential for the future.

'Everyone who knew Alice is deeply saddened by her death and our thoughts are with her parents and family.'"

Alice Rae anorexia


Another death from anorexia, another heartbreaking tragedy. Rest in peace, dear Alice.


Links:

www.dailymail.co.uk/
www.dailyecho.co.uk/
www.thesun.co.uk/
www.facebook.com/
http://www.thisishampshire.net/

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23 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's very sad that she died from Anorexia, and as a sufferer myself I can only say that I bet she's gutted that she still died fat

MJ said...

She did not die fat. I understand anorexia warps perception, being a former bulimia sufferer myself but that is ridiculous.

Medusa said...

Anonymous, I agree with MJ. Your comment is bizarre.

Alice said...

This website shows the extreme side of eating disorders, the side normal people like to see, as if the sufferers were animals in a zoo!
It´s all a lie... extreme cases aren´t that commom. I´m a bulimic and have been for 4 years, I have beautiful teeth, my stomach is quite okay, I´m not underweight, I´m pretty normal and... FAT. Plus, I have taken some antidepressants and well, I don´t purge any time in two weeks! And I´m NOT proud of it! It´s easy to care in some cases, it´s not about something to worry so much. Conclusion, eating disorders aren´t that serious in EACH case. I´m bulimic, I´m fat and healthy. So what?
When I come here I only can think "ohh, so they do believe I´m gonna be that emaciated?? Ohhh, god, I´m begging for it for so long... and I´m still fat!!!"
That´s it. Take care.
it´s just sensationalism! a gross exaggeration!
and, fuck... yeah, she was fat.

Anonymous said...

Wow, this post really hits home for me. I'm the same age as this girl, and my eating disorder also started in 2006/2007. It's absolutely terrifying to know the harm I'm doing to my body, but I can't stop. This could have very well been about me.

Sian said...

how on earth can you say that she was fat??? I myself have been suffering from anorexia nervosa for 2 years now: but I am at least able to say that I can see that she was really really thin. Its obvious even if this whole distorted perception thing is true: I don't like my own body and I think that I CAN see clearly - and I can certainly see that she was in no way at all fat. This story is heartbreaking and really makes me want to change - it is one of my motivating factors for deciding to get help.
Besides, it is just sick to start saying things like that after what has just happened. And, in addition to this, if she was so "fat" Anonymous then why did she die of organ failure due to starvation?
And as for your comment Alice, stop trying to propagate those lies - as if eating disorders don't result in problems.Sure, not all anorexics/bulimics are emaciated, but they are either in the process of losing weight or with a BMI of below 18.4, in which case there is still a serious problem.

Medusa said...

(((Sian)))

Thank you so much for your heartfelt and insightful comments.

It is hard to imagine anything positive coming out of a young girl's death from starvation, but if Alice Rae's death has encouraged you, and hopefully others, to seek help, then that is one positive result of such a terrible tragedy.

All the very best to you, Sian, in your recovery from anorexia. Sending positive, healing thoughts your way...

~ Medusa

Medusa said...

To Anonymous at 5:10 p.m. on February 14th, 2009:

I hope you are going to seek help for your ED. It breaks my heart every time I come across another story of the death of a young girl or boy from anorexia or any eating disorder.

Sending hugs your way and hoping you take that first step on the road to recovery by talking with your doctor...

~ Medusa

Sian said...

(To Medusa)

Thank you so much for your kind wishes: I understand how difficult it is going to be, but I'm now determined to try and not to give up.

I hope as you do, that more sufferers will take notice of this and motivate themselves to change. It's just so sad that it will have taken the death of a girl with such a bright future to achieve this.

Medusa said...

Sian, you're so welcome.

I'll be in your corner, rooting for you to beat this deadly disease.

If I can help in any way, please let me know.

Hugs to you...

~ Medusa

Sian said...

Thank you so much, I will!
It's nice to know that there are people out there like you, willing to help and support.

Sian

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jessica said...

I am almost 22 now and have had an eating disorder since 14. I came across this site looking for weight loss tips, oddly enough. It makes me rethink my decision. I'm already losing teeth and have been since 16. I've had surgeries, infections and am infertile. At 21. While a PP is right and it may show some of the rarer cases, it's also making people like me want to change. It's a black hole and I'm trying to claw my way out.

Medusa said...

Jessica, I hope you take that first step on the road to recovery. Anorexia is so deadly.

Wishing you every success in beating this.

Hugs,
Medusa

Anonymous said...

I'm reading a lot of commentary regarding anorexia and the fact that it is "deadly" being the worst case scenario. But why isn't anyone considering the fact that a miserable life is so much worse than death.

Severe anorexia makes one hate themselves, inside and out. And that is worse than death. That is why most of these girls do not fear death, they almost welcome it as a relief from the suffering.

So when people try to warn that anorexia or drug use or prostitution can lead to death, realize that if death doesnt occur (which in most cases it won't), what happens is equally or more severe.

- MischaSoleil - said...

(((Medusa)))

I think you´re quite strong.

- MischaSoleil - said...

(((Anonymous)))

But every single person who thinks of trying to start the recovery is worth these warnings and wishes. Most cases or not.

Medusa said...

(((MischaSoleil)))

Thanks for all your comments on my posts. Your English is excellent.

And you know what? I think you're strong, too. You've been through so much, yet have kept your head above the water, as they say.

Sending hugs and healing thoughts your way...

Medusa

Anonymous said...

I think it is very very sad that she died, anorexia claimes lives and I am a sufferer myself, I have once not eaten for many many days because I felt that fat, and sure I was able to do, but I dare say, nobody should try to do these things!never...I think to be thin sometimes is overrated anyway but there is a line to be drawn where it should stop, I honestly hope and pray for that girl that she is in a better or place or would be in a better place..this world closes in on so many people and it is sad, more people should not try to look at themselves, inside, their soul I mean, and do not post stupid comments like she died fat! It is an extremely silly comment to make, humans are not animals, and her life was very important to her and her family! my sympathies to her and all the anorexia sufferers out there, i hope you find it in your heart to sympathise with me on this very sad day..I am sorry

Anonymous said...

I am a friend of alice's, i just stumbled across this page of her and you cannot believe how hurtful it is to hear people call her fat. that even in death her weight is the focus, not what kind of person she was or her personality, her WEIGHT! and altho i think its a lovely thing to have pages like this to get the message out there about anorexia, a number of the comments left are distasteful.

Anonymous said...

I have been suffering from anorexia since I was 13, I am now 16.

I really feel for all of Alice's family and friends! I can't begin to imagine how hard this is for you!!
You are all so strong, what happened to Alice is a tragedy, It has really hit home, and made me think that I want to get help for good this time because I don't want to put my family through this. I have just recently been threatened with hospitilisation by my G.P, and I just kinda thought whatever, I'm not putting on weight and there is nothing they can do, but after reading this story, It's really made me think, maybe going to hospital would be best because I'm not going to be able to recover on my own if at all. Alice was very lucky because I don't have any support from my Mum or Dad, I don't see my Dad and my Mum continously calls me fat, and tells me I have to eat so I can get fat. Which leaves me feeling a lot worse about myself. I was feeling really down and I was looking for more weight loss sites when I came across this story. It has really opened my eyes and made me think I don't want to put my family through this. I really do want to get better I'm not sure if I can.
My heart is with everyone who knew Alice.x

Medusa said...

(((Anonymous))), thanks so much for commenting.

It is very difficult to recover on your own, so I would seek any help your GP can offer. I feel so badly you don't have the support of your Mum and Dad, but there are wonderful doctors and therapists out there who will help you.

Sending hugs your way and best wishes on your journey down the road to recovery...

Medusa
xoxoxo

Jamie said...

Hello Alice's friend,

First of all I am sorry for the loss of your friend. She was very beautiful.

I too was alarmed when I read these comments but I think it is clear that certainly in these cases an anorexia sufferer has the same body image distortion of others as they do of their own body.

Alice most certainly was not fat in any way. I know its difficult but try not to take the negative comments here too personally. You will have your own happy memories as you were one person who had the pleasure of knowing her. Take care.

And to anonymous on 31st May, you say death might be better than suffering from anorexia but recovery from anorexia is a million times better. Many peope have recovered from anorexia and you CAN too. There are people desperate to help you to live a happy life and achieve your greatest dreams. Please fight your illness and choose life.

Anonymous said...

It is so, so sad. This girl went to the same college that I did. She was a sweetie pie from what I could gather. I didn't know she had an eating disorder, I thought she was naturally thin.
Just goes to show.
All my love.
Charli (my story is featured on this site)