Friday, February 29, 2008


Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
Memries, may be beautiful and yet
Whats too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So its the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were...

The following is an exchange between Fawn and Kimmer on the Kimkins website prior to Fawn launching her blog, Peace on the Internet, which suddenly disappeared into thin air shortly after its launch.

Either Fawn ran out of fawning things to say about her idols or someone said "Ditch the blog or else":

From Kimkins:

"Re: WHERE IS TIPPY TOES 1 Day, 7 Hours ago

I created my very own blog about Kimmer and Tippy,

please feel free to view it when you have a moment.

These are two INCREDIBLY positive people and they set the EXAMPLE for all of us on the internet in regard to: Maturity and having room for everyone in a warm embrace. I am sooooooooo VERY PROUD "

Kimmer replies ...

"Re:WHERE IS TIPPY TOES 1 Day, 6 Hours ago

Fawn, your blog is just about me and Tippy? Hey, you're gonna need to expand your repertoire!"

Fawn once again ...
Re:WHERE IS TIPPY TOES 1 Day, 5 Hours ago

Kimmer wrote:

Fawn, your blog is just about me and
Tippy? Hey, you're gonna need to expand your repertoire!

"smiles and blushes, okay I will take your advice smiles....

I am new to this blogging thing, so I will think of something to write on there. LOL...

you are sooooooooo sweet, huggies.

fawn "

I gotta tell ya...all that fawning gives me the freakin' willies.

And below we have Fawn's very first fawning tribute to Kimmer and Tippy Toes on her ill-fated blog:

Warning: Spew Alert!

"Monday, December 24, 2007

Peace on the Internet by Fawn

My screen name known by many is Fawn (aka: Butterfly)

This morning I had an opportunity to post my Sincere and genuine feelings and beliefs on another site and I wanted to share it here because it is important to me because it focuses on the maturity and positive outlook of two special people: Kimmer and Tippy 12/24/07

Merry Christmas Eve everyone, and there is room for everyone so let's continue to be happy

As we celebrate the holidays approaching and the beginning of a New Year let us bask in the glow of one another successes and ventures

Yes one of our very cherished and supportive sisters, named Tippy, has ventured on her own and we are very happy and proud of her.

To me I view it like, when we help one another and soon they are able to bloosom on their own and we should be and continue to be happy for them and wish them the best in all their successes.

What I admire about Tippy is that she gives much credit to the Kimkins plan and supports people who continue on with the low carb lifestyle of several plans. Never a negative word on her site about anyone or any plan, instead it is just positive support and the goal of healthy and safe living, with much joy and happiness just like this loving and positive, supportive Kimkins site who just wants the best for everyone and embraces everyone with celebration and not a negative word about anyone.

I am VERY proud of this site and hers as well because these are very mature people that focus on the "positive" on their sites. So I raise my low carb chocolate shake this morning in loving honor to the very caring, positive, mature and supportive people: Kimmer and Tippy who both want the best for people in this great big world, where each person has their own style and there is room for everyone.

To me, in my opinion, the Kimkins plan is special and it started me on the road of low carb eating and has taught all of us very much and helped us embrace the real us inside to come out and experience FREEDOM and for many of us, a joy for life for the first time in a long time and I will always be grateful to our Kimmer for creating the Kimkins plan that helped set so many free from a life of obesity and I know from personal experience.

It is pretty scary out there, and people arent so nice sometimes in other websites, but like a den mother to so many, Kimmer never said don't go here or there, she never tried to hoard, instead she embraced and supported us having friends elsewhere as well that we visit and hang out with. Kimmer leaves the light on for people and people embrace it.

We are blessed to have two positive sites from both of them, Kimmer and Tippy, with their own unique styles, sharing and positive attitude and acceptance of people, with the goal in mind to help others. I never thought that was possible as the internet seems to be a competitive market so to speak, but there is a peace and maturity from these two people like no other. We are very lucky indeed.

So let's continue to be happy for one another as we venture forth into the new year of 2008 with a positive, friendly outlook and embrace the joy and celebration of life in this huge world where there is room for everyone

Remember: It is allllllllll about having a positive and loving and caring attitude

Thank you all for reading this post and wishing you all much happiness in your endeavors and life.

Posted by Peace On the Internet at 6:43 AM "


Tippy Toes Blog said...

How anyone could ever be cruel to you, I will never know. You are one of the kindest and sweetest people I have ever come to know. I just love you!"

[Fawn's response:]

"December 24, 2007 7:18 AM
Peace On the Internet said...

aawww precious Tippy,

you are such an angel huggies to you, I love you too :)

You and Kimmer in my opinion set the EXAMPLE of how others should be with their websites and hopefully ONE day, they will follow suit seeing the maturity of both of you WONDERFUL people who care about the world and the people in it.

God bless you both ***

fawn :) "

[Kimmer's response:]

"December 24, 2007 7:28 AM

Kimmer said...

Fawn, your very own blog! I'm so proud of you!!!

Please don't laugh that it took me 10 minutes to figure out how to leave a comment. Tech things and me ... man!

There's so many kind and truly helpful people on the internet, thanks for adding one more positive beacon.

No one can ever call you shy (smiles) and I'm going to be checking here regularly ... well, soon as I figure out how to bookmark it!

A blessed Christmas to you and Tippy!


[Fawn's response:]

December 24, 2007 7:59 AM
Peace On the Internet said...

aaawww Kimmer, you are so sweet to post on my very first blog, huggies.

I adore you as you know, and you have helped so many people and will continue to do so.

I am so PROUD of you and Tippy and your accomplishments in having such positive and supportive websites. I am in awe of the maturity levels and kindness of both of you.

I am STILL trying to figure out thie blog thingy LOLLLLLL I remember you tried to encourage me to start a blog a long time ago... but ya know me.. LOL.. sometimes I am a chicken but today I decided to be brave and I just wanted the WORLD to know that I am and will always be very PROUD of both of you because you BOTH set the example of how People can get ALONG and there is room for everyone and most of all, having a loving, caring and supportive attitude.

okay... clearlyyyyyyyy I am writing to much again LOLLLLL

I am so Touched that you would take out the time to comment on my blog... ((((((( huggies ))))))

fawn (aka: Butterfly)

December 24, 2007 8:14 AM "



"Monday, December 24, 2007

A strong woman PROUD of her journey....Grammar Correction*
Will I always be PROUD of Kimmer and Tippy with their Maturity Levels?
Of course I will.

They both have websites but yet they focus on the positive and in MY opinion, they set the EXAMPLE of how POSITIVE websites should be.

Both their websites of supportive. I have never seen either one of them say an unkind word about the other on their websites nor would they allow it. Instead they are happy for one another and both have the same goal to help people as much as possible and they both embrace positive affirmations on their websites.

Again it is my view and belief that I have never seen two websites focus on so much positivity no matter what plan a person is on. They are both accepting, loving and nurturing websites and as competitive as websites are and can be.... these two wonderful women are NOT.

Each has their own style, nobody is trying to copy anybody or anything like that. Instead they respect and give each other space and wish each other well and focus on the people in a positive, supportive and kind manner of Uplifting people!

Yes, they set the standard of living in peace on the internet and I pray other websites will follow the Wonderful EXAMPLE set by these two wise women: Kimmer and Tippy.

Grammar correction done by Fawn (aka: Butterfly)
Posted by Peace On the Internet at 12:13 PM "

The Way We Were: Lyrics by Barbra Streisand

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Thursday, February 28, 2008


This just in from a very intrepid member of Camp Carbaway:

From Fawnnnn's Journal at the Camp:

"Watchin from the Sidelines

February 18, 2008, 04:24:56 PM »
Journal Topic: " I did it.... I completely and literally left the other site today "

Before I can read or respond to any earlier posts to my journal today...

I need to let this out please.. so please bear with me.

Dear Diary, today is Monday, Feb 18, 2008 Time 1:50pm

Today I did the HARDEST thing I had to do in a longggggggggggggg time... request a refund for my paid membership at the other site at Kimkins.

Why did I finally leave today?

Because last night as I was going thru the final boxes of decluttering that I started this weekend and threw out literally bags and bags of 30 gallon trash bags of paperwork trash this weekend.... last night I came across a box of papers that I had from kimkins. Mainly my journal... yes I posted a lot there, no doubt but when it came to my diary/journal I needed to have a physical hard copy of my own diary to see my journey, the ups and downs and learn from my mistakes, etc.

The hardest thing was to SEE in print how I .. well lets just tell the truth and say it... I idolized this woman called Kimmer.


Because she was the answer to my prayer. She helped me in ways with her diet plan that NO ONE else could and trust me I have been on a LOT of diet plans thru out my life and it was her diet plan on that taught me about the effects that carbs have on my body. The site itself was very informative to me. I can only speak for myself.

I also have the type of personality to defend those who are like too shy or meek to defend themselves and I remember battling and cursing people out who would talk poorly about her or the diet plan on kimkins. Embarrassingly I admit I did that for a long time with no one telling me to stop, not kimmer or the admins. until months later when singinglass posted for me to cease cursing. Looking back I can see why people didnt take to me too well because it appeared as if I had free reign to say what I wanted and when I wanted to people who opposed the plan or said anything negative about Kimmer. Now I can understand their frustrations, truly I can.
okay sorry back to topic:

As I was going thru hundreds and I mean hundreds of papers and documents last night.... I found myself getting frustrated at the thought of WHY am I keeping these papers.... why? I dont know what to believe or what not to believe... the dream, the hope and idolizing of a woman that I cherished and defended and the plan was all a lie!

Yes she finally admitted it openly in court and made a statement on her websites of an explanation and things moved on and things were forgiven... after all.. none of us are perfect....we had no right (in my opinon) to throw the first stone kinda thing.

BUT last night it just got to me. I couldnt find ONE thing that was true in those documents.... and it tore me apart inside emotionally, feeling hood winked to a point, maybe too trusting as well to a LOT of a degree.

so today, I did what I wanted to do for a while... leave the kimkins website to help me move ON and Forward.

It was HARD, it wasnt easy. It was like cutting the emblical cord of the life source of someone who taught you how to live kind of thing.. emotionally it was HARD to say goodbye, no matter the circumstance. Love and caring has no boundaries or distance. I am genuine in the people I care about and come to love so NO this was not easy by any means.... to break away and cut ties.

But I knew for my own peace of mind and to move forward and not feel ... anyways I did what I had to do today.

at 1:07 pm today, this afternoon I posted the following in my two journals on that site, in the beginning and the end of each journal and I posted on Kimmers journal as well and I private messaged her the following message:

Dearest Kimmer, 02/18/08

It is me, ___ I am respectfully requesting a refund of membership here please.

Please contact me at: ____

You will always be dear to my heart, always.

respectfully and with deepest heart felt sincerity.

My yahoo email address is: ____ @ yahoo . com

It was my decision NOT to go into detail as to WHY I was leaving and requesting a refund.


2 reasons:

1. There is enough negativity in the world and I didnt want to hurt her by posting anything negative. I just couldnt do that to a woman who taught me so much. I cant hurt her or her business like that, no matter the circumstance... she did help me after all. I just can't hurt people. I am a strong, tough person but I just can't hurt people that I care about, I just can't.

2. I just wanted to leave peacefully, respectfully with no drama and mainly I wanted to be "mature" about my departure. *** for me, it was a part of growing up... a part of growth.... to leave peacefully with no harm.

1:07pm = I posted on my journals and her journal on the kimkins website at 12:07pm the same message as above.

1:15pm = I emailed her a private message on the kimkins website with the same post, along with my name and address.

1:20pm = I emailed Kimmer on yahoo with a request for a refund including my physical address and name with the following:Dearest Kimmer, 02/18/08 You know you will always be dear to my heart and I am finding it difficult to deal with what is true and not true even as I read the documents on hard copy especially last night.
I am requesting a refund check of my membership fee that I paid thru paypal with the Kimkins Website to be mailed to my home address within two weeks from today 02/18/08 please: Here is my name and address below........

1: 27pm = I was going to post to a friend and I typed the note and pressed "send" and a box popped up that read:


I tired several times, still the same message. I even restarted my computer and still the same message.

I realized THEN that my membership on was terminated that quickly*
1:28 pm = I started getting emails on my yahoo email address from people on the kimkins website who apparently saw my posts asking for a refund. In the emails they were asking WHY I left and did I notice that Kimmer took her photo off her homepage on the website and did I know why she took her photo off. ( I dont know why.. thats her decision to do so. )

1:30pm = I got a reply email from Kimmer on my yahoo email which read:

Hi ____ ,

No problem at all and you'll be in our next batch. Promise me you'll stay on program and stay focused! You're a special lady and I'll miss you!

Best regards,


***** Wow, such grace even in departure. No questions, nothing. She understood and would grant my request of a refund.

To me personally, I thought she showed MUCH class in her response to my posts and yahoo email.

soooooooooooooo.... it is done.

I was glad that in the end which is today, we were both respectful and graceful.

I am no longer a kimkins member and quess what?

I am still okay and the world did not end, smiles.

I am glad I am here at campcarbaway... the peaceful refuge and a safe and open place to be, where people are real and they accept one another for who and what they are and there is HONEST journies, experiences, openess, love and support here for one another and I appreciate ALL of you so much I can't even put it into words, thank you, hugs.

end journal.

whew that was a lot of typing lol... I need a break. smiles


Journal Topic:

" Feb 28, 08, I GOT MY KIMKINS REFUND CK TODAY $59.95 = exactly ten days from my request "

It was TEN days from today exactly, on Feb 18, 2008 on Presidents day that I requested a refund from my Kimkins membership and I came home today and the check was there in FULL for $59.95.

At least she kept her word and gave me my refund as she wrote that she would. I am happy about that.

More happy that she kept her word, inspite of ... whatever. Ya gotta give her credit for that and I do.

No animosity, just a clean, friendly and respectable break.

I will always give the Kimkins plan credit for teaching me a lot about carbs and how it affects my body AND for getting me started on the journey of weight loss successfully and now I am glad I am here, smiles , yeh!"



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Well, congrats, Fawn, on getting that refund from Kimmer. Now, here's an idea. Why don't you send it back to Kimmer and join the lawsuit? I'm sure you've got lots to spill :^)

Many thanks again to my source! Great sleuthing!

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Shelly Guillory

Polly Williams

Pollack "Polly" Ann Williams, who was featured in the HBO documentary Thin, was found dead three weeks ago (February 8, 2008) in her Hixson, Tennessee home. Polly suffered from anorexia nervosa for many years, and was only 33 when she died.

Polly died from an overdose of sleeping pills, a suicide that was "a direct result of her internal battle with the eating disorder," said her sister, Bebe W. Reed. "She said she could not fight the fight any longer."

Shelly Guillory,another woman featured in Thin, recently sent an e-mail to the author of mamaVISION. Shelly advised that since the death of her friend, Polly Williams, she will be taking up the fight against eating disorders. She said, in part, in her e-mail:

"I cannot say why I decided to get better, but a few months ago something just “clicked”. In AA they say a person has a spiritual awakening, but because I don’t like that term and I was never like Moses and saw a burning bush, I am just going to go with my Clicking Theory. I had hit an all time low. I was depressed, anxious, malnourished, and I was addicted to benzodiazipines. I realized I had to do something or I would die. Honestly, I really thought death was the only way I was going to get over this, I almost welcomed it. But deep down inside I knew I didn’t want to die, but I deeply believed I couldn’t get better. I kept telling myself over and over again, “you have tried and you have failed everytime.” But had I really tried? Had I really surrendered and given recovery every ounce of energy I had? The answer again was simple…No, I had not..."

"So in September 2008, I surrendered and it was quite possibly the scariest thing I had ever done. I realized I had to put aside my preoccupation with weight, food, body image, thinness and everything else that comes along with an eating disorder, once and for all. I was terrified because I knew without all those distractions I would be force to feel. Feelings I had not allowed myself to feel in so long were powerful. I felt uncomfortable because I had not felt anything for so long. The amount of anxiety I felt scared me and I several times I thought about quitting, turning back to starving and purging. But I knew I couldn’t. This was my time and I knew something greater than myself would get me through it. My confidence was shaky and many times I didn’t believe I could do it, but I just kept telling myself over and over again that I could no matter what I really believed. The power of positive self-talk has sustained me in my recovery...

"So I write to tell you it is possible. I was one who wasn’t supposed to make it. I am going to prove those who doubted me wrong. And it is going to feel good. And I win in the situation. Recovery to me means living the life I want, to not be weighed down by unnecessary worries and irrational thoughts. It means not putting unrealistic expectations on myself and not feeling like a failure when I don’t meet them. It means improved relationships with the people I love and care about. It means I can reach out, tell my story and give people hope. It means I can truly be the person that I am..."


Shelly, please know that we are all cheering you on in your recovery.

And for those who have taken up the fight, like Shelly, to spread information far and wide about the deadly consequences of eating disorders, please continue the fight in memory of Polly who left this world all too soon.

My previous post on Polly is here:

And the entire HBO documentary, THIN, may be viewed in this post:


The link to mamaVISION's complete post on Shelly is here:

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Natasha, 12 years old

This documentary was produced by BBC3 and filmed at Rhodes Farm, a clinic in North London, UK, which specializes in treating children who are suffering from anorexia nervosa.

It is both startling and moving.

The children profiled in this documentary are very young and were admitted to Rhodes Farm because they were starving themselves to death.

I would recommend that all parents, especially, view this documentary.
It contains vital information on how to recognize disordered eating in children.








And a follow-up...

My little girl, anorexic at 12
By AMANDA CABLE (Daily Mail)

29th January 2007


Bryony with her mum Jacqui (above) and in the grip of anorexia (below)

Jacqui Flicker had every reason to feel that life was good as she prepared breakfast for her hungry children last February. Her recent second marriage had provided a loving stepfather for her children Oliver and Bryony, and the family enjoyed an idyllic life in their five-bedroom detached Devon home.

Pouring a fresh orange juice for 12-year-old Bryony, her only concern was that the blonde, sweet-natured child who shone at school and excelled in life had recently appeared to be tired and withdrawn.

But when Bryony pushed away the drink and insisted she wasn't thirsty, Jacqui's world came crashing down with a devastating realisation. She says: 'Bryony promised she would drink the glass of juice later. As soon as she said that, I remembered my days as a paediatric nurse in charge of anorexic girls who would bargain and promise to avoid eating or drinking.

'I realised that Bryony's thin frame wasn't due to a sudden growth spurt, and her weepiness and inability to sleep weren't down to pre-teen hormones, as we had assumed.

'In that awful, sickening moment I realised that instead of the bright, cheerful child I knew so well, I was staring at a 12-year-old anorexic.'

A trained nurse who enjoyed an exceptionally close relationship with her only daughter, Jacqui's reaction was to sit down and talk to Bryony - who immediately admitted she had been secretly starving herself for several months.

It was perhaps no coincidence that in the year she developed her eating disorder, Bryony's parents split up and both remarried. Jacqui had then become ill as she struggled to come to terms with her ex-husband - Bryony's father - having a baby with his new wife.

Jacqui says: 'In my naivety, I almost thought that because we had discovered the problem and discussed it together, it would be something that we could tackle and overcome. Instead, almost from the moment the word was first uttered, anorexia took over my daughter's life, becoming a demon which possessed her entirely.'

Jacqui's desperate battle to stop her daughter from starving to death had only just begun. But disturbingly, she was far from alone. An estimated one per cent of girls aged between ten and 20 in Britain today suffer from anorexia — but some anorexics are as young as eight and nine.

Last year alone, another 6,000 new sufferers were diagnosed with eating disorders. Many who have managed to escape the cruel clinches of this psychological illness owe their survival to a ground-breaking clinic, Rhodes Farm in North London.

It was here, behind the high walls and in the cheerful kitchens where calories abound and tables groan under the weight of mouth-watering food, that Bryony's slow recovery began.

The clinic - and the desperate battles with the children who reside there - is the subject of a shocking and moving new BBC programme, I'm A Child Anorexic.

And Bryony - now sitting back at home in Exeter - is a 'star' pupil. But her mother is acutely aware that help nearly came too late.

Jacqui, 48, says: 'As soon as the anorexia was "outed", suddenly it seemed to develop a life of its own. I was faced with a little girl who consumed no more than a pint of water a day, and nothing more than a morsel of food.

'Bryony seemed powerless in its grasp - I could see her being consumed bit by bit, with more and more anorexia and less and less of the old Bryony.

'She had been starving herself for months. Anorexia affects each girl differently and Bryony didn't make herself sick nor was she particularly deceptive - she just refused point blank to eat and I was powerless to do anything about it.'

Yet Jacqui kept trying to help her daughter: 'I weighed her each week, but she kept dropping kilos and kilos, shrugging as if there was nothing she could do about it.

'I tried keeping a food diary, and I warned her about the medical dangers, the fact that she could damage her kidneys and her heart, stunt her growth or affect her future fertility.

'But the anorexia convinced Bryony that I was lying to her - and ruining her life by trying to get her to eat even the tiniest scrap of food.'

After consultation with a GP, a referral to a psychiatrist and even a six-week stay in hospital in June 2006, Bryony continued to lose weight.

Jacqui says: 'It would take her over half an hour to eat the tiniest mouthful of a sandwich, and it was painful to watch. Seeing your child commit slow suicide in front of you by denying herself food, and actually watching her body disappear, is the worst torture in the world.

'I would actually have to physically stop myself from trying to ram the sandwich down her throat. I've never felt so sick and scared in my life - I would go to bed each night and dread the next day.

'Bryony would scream, scratch and bite if we tried to encourage her to eat. She started to run away - racing out of the front door and running down the road, so she would burn up calories. Sometimes I would be left searching the streets for hours, tears running down my face.

'I was utterly appalled that this was happening to such a little girl. Bryony was only just out of playing with dolls and holding my hand down the street. Suddenly, she was ravaged by a disease I thought affected only older girls.'

After losing more weight in hospital and with her skeletal body weighing a pitiful 3st 9lbs (23kg), Bryony was referred to Rhodes Farm for an 18-week residential stay - and she wasn't allowed to return home until she hit her target weight of 6st 6lbs (41kg).

Jacqui says: 'We drove there in silence and leaving her there was the hardest thing I've ever had to do - she clung to me, sobbing and begging me to take her home. But I honestly knew that this was our last chance. If I took my little girl home, I didn't know if she would even survive.'

Bryony had every reason to cry when she was shown around Rhodes Farm. Opened in 1991 as the first unit in Britain dedicated to treating children with eating disorders, it runs a zero-tolerance regime.

It aims to increase the weight of each child by 2.2lbs (1kg) a week. Food is weighed and set out on a long table, and trained staff watch the girls - who often weep as they spoon food into their mouths.

Children have to remove jumpers before they eat, to stop food being hidden up sleeves. The communal bedrooms are inspected every few days, with bags, shoes and socks checked for vomit. Those who make themselves sick or deceive the scales by drinking water before weigh-ins lose privileges such as visits from parents.

It's a draconian regime, which is needed to save the lives of pitiful youngsters like Naomi-— 13 years old and caught in the ravages of anorexia.

Naomi, who arrived at the clinic last May, says: 'My ideal weight is four stone. I know if I got to four stone I'd want to be less than that, but at least I'd be far happier in myself.'

Naomi refuses to sit - because standing up burns 40 more calories an hour than sitting down. She says: 'If I did sit, that would be the Naomi I was before - the fat Naomi and I don't want to be that. I want to be somebody different.'

Recently, she was placed on 24-hour watch after being caught exercising secretly at night - pacing her bedroom endlessly in the hope of burning calories. She says: 'I go to sleep at 11.50pm and wake up at four o'clock in the morning so that I can pace across the bedroom.'

Girls who refuse to eat are tube fed, and Naomi, it appears, is a veteran. She shrugs and says: 'I've been "tubed" nine times. They get full-fat cream and chocolate spread and peanut butter and liquidise it in a blender, then feed it through a tube from your nose into your stomach.'

Her problems include refusing to drink because she believes that even water contains calories. Disturbingly, she announces: 'When you are dehydrated, you feel the pain and it feels like an achievement.'

Eight months after being admitted to the clinic, Naomi remains at Rhodes Farm - a place where food and fat content dominates every waking moment.

Fifteen-year-old Philippa, for example, recites calories from memory as if chanting a religious mantra. She says: 'Muller Light yoghurts are 105 calories for cherry, 100 for vanilla, 113 for rhubarb. Pitta bread is 114 at Spar and 148 at Sainsbury's. Wholemeal bread is 17, apples are 50 and bran flakes 97.'

She pauses proudly and adds: 'I used to lie awake at night planning my breakfast for the next morning, and I wouldn't allow myself to go to sleep unless I knew exactly what I was going to have and how many calories it had in it. Not knowing was just such a terrifying thought.'

Dr Dee Dawson, 60, the founder of Rhodes Farm, warns that the ages of girls suffering from anorexia is getting lower all the time. She says: 'We treat girls with anorexia at the age of eight or nine - and our youngest patient ever was just six years old.

'The average age of anorexic girls here is 13 or 14, but each year they get younger and younger. These children are being influenced by the magazines they read, and the sight of ridiculously thin celebrities - particularly the sick girls on the catwalk who teenagers look up to.'

She adds: 'Parents are becoming far more fitness and low-fat focused. Many teenagers have mothers who spend their lives jogging and going to the gym, complaining about GI this and that.

'Even Jamie Oliver is telling them that they can't eat chocolate now - so children are becoming obsessed with food and diet at a much younger age than ever before.

'It worries me that little girls who should be having fun and playing are becoming obsessed with their bodies and dieting instead. They say that one per cent of schoolgirls develop anorexia.

'Most girls who develop anorexia have family problems or upheavals. They are often intelligent and sensitive - perfectionists who strive to be the best at everything, including dieting.

'One in five people who develop anorexia will die - some of them my former patients, which is devastating. Some girls come back time and time again, and I never give up on them. One third who leave here continue to have problems, while two-thirds will make it in the end.

'When they come here, they are completely deluded. They will squeeze the butter out of their muffins in the morning so it runs down their arms. They scrape food into their hair to hide it, or squeeze it underneath their fingernails.

'One child even refused to feed her horse with a linseed oil cake because she was frightened the fat would seep through her skin and make her fat.'

Twelve-year-old Natasha - admitted to Rhodes Farm last August weighing 4st 6lbs - is intelligent and erudite. She says: 'You don't really mind if you die, because you are not that happy. When they were telling me I would die, I was thinking: "Well, you told me that a week ago and I'm still here, so you are lying."

'When you see that you've gained weight, you think you are a failure - that you are huge. When I get to my target weight I know I'll feel absolutely disgusting and horrible and I'll want to lose more weight.'

She shrugs and adds: 'It is very childish, I know.'

Recalling the anorexia which engulfed her with such terrifying speed last year, Bryony says: 'It was like this thing in my head that was controlling me. I wasn't scared or afraid, but something was telling me that I had to limit myself to a certain amount of food and I shouldn't eat any more than that.'

While so many of the girls at Rhodes Farm are dazzled and ultimately misguided by the images of stick-thin models and celebrities, Bryony was different.

She says: 'I didn't really want to grow up. I thought that stopping eating, or taking less food, would stop me from growing older. I just liked being a kid because it was fun and easy.

'A lot of things had happened at home - my mum and dad had remarried and Mum had been ill. When I saw pictures of myself looking really thin I knew I looked really bad, but I didn't care because nothing mattered.

'When I arrived at Rhodes Farm it was frankly a relief because they didn't give me a choice about what to eat or when to eat - and that was comforting.'

Eighteen weeks after she arrived sobbing and trembling at Rhodes Farm, Bryony was discharged to a new life and the challenge of living - and eating - normally once more. Jacqui recalls: 'I was delighted to be driving her home - I had missed my little girl so badly.

'We came home last November, but it was like driving a new baby home for the first time ever - I felt terribly vulnerable and terribly scared. I knew that anorexia could recur and there could be many setbacks, and I kept thinking: "Can we do this right?"

'We came home with a strict calorie guide to keep her weight steady, and we have to weigh her twice weekly and report to the clinic.

'Since we got her home, I've enjoyed all the "firsts". The first time we all really laughed at a family joke. Her first day back at school. The first time we all went out for a meal together.'

Jacqui pauses and adds with a smile: 'Now I watch her arguing with her big brother or chatting to her friends over the phone and I'm just thrilled the demon has gone - and she's a little girl once more.' "

LINKS: (Part 1)

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008


"In whose body am I breathing? Whose eyes are these piercing my own?
Is it really myself staring back at me through this mirror?
It cannot possibly be.
I think I remember a time different than this.
Though, It is vague.
I remember being happy, once.
I almost recall it.
Loving life And, dare I say, myself.
Maybe it isn’t me, maybe this is a dream. A nightmare.
Maybe I will wake up soon, and my life can begin again.
There she is, staring back at me through this wretched mirror.
It only deceives me. Ruins me.
Oh, but how good I am at this game.
This never-ending, sleepless, heartless,
Empty game I call my life.
I cannot win or lose,
But merely wander until I fade and wither away.
No satisfaction. Constant worry, misery,
Disappointment and pain.
It is not I living it. It cannot be.
Here I stand, in front of this mirror once again.
Staring, wishing, waiting.
Waiting for a change.
Wishing that if I stare long enough,
Just maybe I will see something that I overlooked before.
Something worth loving.
But it never comes.
This misery has diminished my hope, and with it my life.
I am the melancholy girl who stares out the window late at night
Watching the lights fade,
The cars passing,
Trying to catch a glimpse of promise.
Trying to see what other people see.
I am the one who spends long nights on the bathroom floor
Sobbing about who I have become- what I have become.
Yes, I am the girl who dreams of being beautiful,
Yet so easily reduced to tears by this wretched mirror.
It is not I walking these halls.
Absent-mindedly smiling.
For inside I am dying.
How do they not see?
I have become a shell of a person.
I have mastered the art of faking “I’m fine.”
Forcing a smile is second nature.
My life is a contest with myself.
An endless race to a nonexistent finish line.
And how good at this game I am.
Yet, People see a happy girl.
But what they don’t see is the

From a young girl's journal on a proanorexia website.

If you are the young girl who wrote this journal entry, or are experiencing any of the same feelings yourself, please get help as soon as possible by calling any of the following numbers:

In North America:

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1 800 448-4663

Bulimia/Anorexia Self Help Hotline: 1 800 227-4785

Anorexia Nervosa and Associate Disorders: 1-847-831-3438

Youth Crisis Line: 1 800 HIT-HOME

Thursday's Child National Call Center for at Risk Youth: 1-800-USA-KIDS

Boys and girls Town National Hotline: 1 800 448-3000

Referrals to Eating Disorder specialists (US and Canada): 1-800-736-3739

The National Mental Health Association Information Center: 1-800-969-NMHA

And in the UK/IRELAND:

The Eating Distress Helpline (Ireland): 011-44-2600366

Anorexia and Bulimia Care: 01462 423351, - National Christian organisation run by Christians for sufferers, families and carers. Support, advice, information and befriending to sufferers and families. Can put parents of sufferers in contract with other parents of sufferers

beat - beat eating disorders (formerly the Eating Disorders Association) Helpline: 0845 6341414, email help@...; b-eat Youthline 0845 634 7650, email fyp@...,

British Nutrition Foundation: 020 7404 6504 - Provides information and advice on nutrition and related health matters. Produce a wide range of leaflets and books

DABS Mail Order Book Catalogue: 01709 860023 - Books relating to Eating Disorders, Child Abuse, Self Esteem, Assertiveness, Self Harm etc

Caraline: 01582 457474, email info@..., - Telephone helpline, counselling and support for people experiencing anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeaters. Monthly self help group, individual counselling and specialised programmes. Helpline national, other services Bedfordshire

Independence: 01223 566130 - Publishes book Coping with Eating Disorders price approx. £5.95

The International Eating Disorders Centre: 01296 330557, - Run short residential combined out patient programmes and inpatient programmes for sufferers

The National Centre for Eating Disorders: 0845 838 20 40, - Details of therapists who specialise in the treatment of eating disorders

National Institute for Health & Clinical Excellence: 020 7067 5800 - Publish guidelines relating to Treatment of Anorexia

Northern Initiative on Women & Eating: 0191 261 7010 - Helpline and information service for anyone experiencing problems with food and for their families and professionals. The agency provides support across the whole spectrum of eating problems including anorexia, bulimia, compulsive eating, binge eating and other associated problems

Office of Health Economics: 020 7930 9203 - Publishes a useful book called Eating Disorders: Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa 1994 by Richard West. Cost £5

SupportLine: 020 8554 9004, email info@... - Telephone Helpline providing confidential emotional support to Children, Young Adults and Adults on any issue. Also keep details of other agencies, support groups and counsellors throughout the UK

Threshold Women's Mental Health Infoline: 0808 808 6000, email infoline@..., - National telephone helpline providing details of local and national services throughout UK. Produce series of factsheets on women and mental health, emotional support for women seeking information. Aims to help women experiencing mental health and or emotional distress, their carers, families, friends, partners

Young Minds: 0800 018 2138, email enquiries@..., - Helpline and other support services for parents concerned about the mental health of a baby, child, or young person. Produces a range of leaflets, reports etc

Youth Helpline: 0845 6347650 - Offer information and support to people affected by eating disorders and in particular anorexia and bulimia. Telephone helpline and a UK wide network of self help and support contacts. Information and treatment about eating disorders and treatment available. Membership includes a regular newsletter

Useful websites

Abused Empowered Survive Thrive: - A site for survivors of abuse which includes information on eating disorders

British Nutrition Foundation: - Information on healthy eating

Channel 4 Health site: - Information on a range of issues including eating disorders, depression, self harm, anxiety, mental health - A sufferer of an eating disorder shares her personal experiences - Information on eating disorders including diagnosing, signs, causes, risks and treatments

Food and Mood: - A site which explores the relationship of what you eat and how you feel - Site aimed at eating disorder sufferers – also run self help and support group for sufferers in Beckenham, Kent. Site includes chat room and forum
Mental Health Foundation: - Includes information relating to eating disorders - Lots of tips on encouraging children to eat healthily - Online community for anyone affected by eating disorders - Information on eating disorders

Something Fishy: - A recovery site for those with eating disorders. Includes support forums, information and help for parents and carers

Surgerydoor: - Information on anorexia - Website for Somerset and Wessex Eating Disorders Association includes support and information for all those affected by eating disorders

TheSite: - Includes information on eating disorders

Useful book

Overcoming Anorexia Nervosa: A Self Help guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques - Publishers Constable & Robinson: ISBN 1854879693


Many thanks to WildAngel6, and to MrsM @ Weighing the Facts
and Stephanie @ Living Low Carb and Lovin' It for the Hotline numbers and links.

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For those who are looking for information and resources on eating disorders, please check out this new blog:

Weighing the Facts

MrsMenopausal, the author of this great blog, has a very interesting test you can take to determine if your eating is disordered.

For more information on eating disorders, please check out these very informative blogs and posts:

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Sunday, February 24, 2008


This just in from

(NOTE: Kim Drake is one of Heidi Diaz's aliases)

By David Wood

February 25, 2008

Kimkins Diet
The Kimkins story ...

The real story ...

Kimkins Diet Rolls On Despite Founder's Excess Poundage

Consumer Complaints about Kimkins

More Weight Loss News ...

Photo by

Waiting in line at your favorite grocery store is a guaranteed way to see the covers of magazines targeted toward women. It's a real challenge to find just one week of a year where the cover of at least one check-out tabloid doesn't have blaring headlines about weight loss or the most recent diet sensation.

"Better than gastric bypass!" "Kim lost 200 lbs in 11 months!" "Christin lost 100 lbs in 5 months!"

Those very comments appeared on the cover of the June 12, 2007 issue of Woman's World Magazine. The story was a fascinating look at a weight loss diet known as Kimkins, created by Kim Drake, also known as the "Kimmer."
The Woman's World story begins by saying they sent out their spies to gather intelligence about Kimkins. The Kimkins website included numerous before-and-after pictures of not only the "Kimmer, but also happy members that had shed massive amounts of weight.

Woman's World describes Kim as "smiling" when responding to questions. This implies that the Woman's World interviewer was personally watching the response of Kim Drake. So, you would think that Woman's World would have noticed that "Kim" was in fact a 300-pound woman.

Kimkins before & after, according to Woman's World

The Kimkins website saw a huge increase in memberships due to the flattering Woman's World cover story. Records introduced in connection with a class action lawsuit against Kimkins show that for the month of June, 2007, Kimkins pulled in over $1,200,000 in membership fees.

Mouthpiece needed

So great was the response that Kimkins needed to hire a public relations spokesperson -- and there was no one better suited for the job than Christin Sherburne.

Christin's picture had been featured on the Woman's World cover, holding a pair of old jeans next to the headline: "Christin lost 100 lbs in 5 months!"

"I was excited about it," said Christin. "I've been overweight all my life, and even though I had never met Kim Drake in person, I wanted to tell others how they could finally lose the weight as I did."

Soon the Kimkins machine was in full throttle. Members were reporting faster weight loss than they had ever experienced on other diets, and Christin was in P.R. mode in her new role as spokeswoman for Kimkins. But little did Christin know what would happen next.

Job & hair loss

The job of a spokesperson is to represent your company and answer any questions that might be thrown your way, including those from the media. One day, Christin found herself facing questions that she couldn't honestly answer … questions concerning medical claims and health issues related to the Kimkins diet.

"As a spokeswoman, people would ask me questions that I couldn't answer, especially related to the medical safety of the diet," said Christin.

Christin did the logical thing. She contacted Kim Drake, the founder of Kimkins. Christin sent a letter to the "Kimmer" in which Christin asked about medical claims of the diet.

Is the diet safe? Are medical authorities backing the diet? All reasonable questions that any spokesperson needs to be able to answer.

To Christin's dismay, instead of getting answers to her questions, she received a pink slip. Kim Drake had removed Christin from her public relations job and offered her a much reduced role moderating the Kimkins forums.

While Christin might have been upset about losing her job, what was really upsetting was the fact she was losing her hair.

"You have to understand that when you are seriously overweight, you are very vulnerable. I saw Kim's before and after pictures and when I was told that she had no ill side effects, I wanted to emulate her success," admitted Christin.

"I did lose the weight, but I also lost a lot of my hair, ended up in the hospital with heart problems, and my menstrual cycle was all messed up. Now I'm on my journey back to a healthy lifestyle.

And Christin wasn't alone.

"I have had a few physical problems resulting from following this diet as laid out specifically by the founder, Kimmer. I am suffering from severe and extreme hair loss," complained Rene of Milwaukee. "Yes, I lost weight. And now I am trying to recover, trying to save what is left of my hair, trying to learn to eat again."

And Mary, of Allenwood, New Jersey, chimed in, "I lost a ton of hair, had dizziness, nausea, rashes, dry skin, and a loss of $59.95."

Mystery figure

Photo by

As word spread about potential health issues, people were becoming more curious about the mysterious "Kimmer." Although her pictures and words were posted on the website, no one had actually met her in person, not even the people working for her.

That all changed thanks to a keen private investigator with He staked out Heidi's location and snapped shocking photos of the person known as the "Kimmer."

The woman didn't look anything like the "after" pictures on her website, and she certainly didn't look like she was following her own diet. In fact, Kim Drake didn't exist. The "Kimmer" was really a 300-pound woman named Heidi Kimberly Diaz -- a woman with no medical expertise in weight loss.

Websites and blogs began circulating these newfound pictures of the mysterious Kimmer, and as word leaked out, a class action lawsuit ensued from former Kimkins members. Additionally, ex-members repeatedly contacted Woman's World Magazine to let them know the truth about the woman they'd made rich.

Russian brides

"She (Heidi) went on this false advertising campaign. I think I lost count at 35 false testimonials and false weight loss stories," said John E. Tiedt, an attorney and a member of the California Health Fraud Task Force.

"We now know that many of these pictures came from Russian bride websites. Even the so-called Kimkins website administrator was a fake, all created by Heidi," Tiedt said.

"She had already made close to $2 million, but when she heard litigation was heading her way, she began an elaborate plan that would make it appear her business would be bankrupt by the time litigation occurred. In reality, she had over a million setting in a bank account," Tiedt said. contacted Heidi Diaz but she said she could not comment due to pending litigation. A few hours later, she e-mailed us a complimentary member pass to the Kimkins website.

By this time we knew all about the bogus testimonials and pictures, but access to the members portion of the site gave us a closer look at the actual diet.

"It's not just low fat, it's low everything," said Dr. Marc Siegel, a Fox News medical contributor and Associate Professor of Medicine at the New York University School of Medicine. "It's a starvation diet, pure and simple. If someone has an underlying medical problem and then begins this starvation diet, they are asking for trouble."

Although the current Kimkins diet recommends a minimum of 800 calories per day, there are no maintenance plans and it's basically a one-size-fits-all diet.

"It's disturbing that this is basically a one-size-fits-all diet," said Jennifer Ebelhar, a Registered Dietitian Instructor at Saint Louis University. "Some women might need 1200 calories and a man might require 4000 calories. You'll certainly lose weight on a starvation diet, but you will never be able to maintain the weight loss."

Ebelhar checked the calories for what Kimkins calls the most popular diet, the "Boot Camp."

"I randomly chose food combinations on the list and couldn't even reach 800 calories daily," she said.

Trudeau understudy?

The Woman's World story said that, "Kim Drake worked with our nutrition team to create these super-slimming Kimkins menus." However, we could not find any nutritional expert that would endorse the Kimkins diet.

"I don't know any dietician that would recommend this diet," Ebelhar said.

"I second that," said Dr. Siegel. "I wrote a book about false fears, but the Kimkins diet is truly something to fear. The only other person that I know that gives more false medical advice is Kevin Trudeau."

The Kimkins saga continues in the courts and although credit card accounts have been frozen, Kimkins now takes checks. Additionally, she has raised the membership price to $79.95.

Our time on the Kimkins website showed that many people didn't care that many if not most of the claims were bogus. It was a cult atmosphere, with people attacking anyone that dared speak against Heidi and her diet. And although the membership fee is supposed to pay for a lifetime membership, we spoke with numerous people who had been banned from the site.

We also saw the consequences of a classic starvation diet. Women who had quickly lost the weight started eating again, and then returned to the Kimkins site for encouragement to lose the weight again.

"It is very addicting when you lose weight fast," said Christin. "I was very blind at that time, and I want people to know that I no longer endorse this diet. I just wish that Woman's World would have said that when they released their apology."

It took eight months for Woman's World to admit its error. We contacted Woman's World by phone and e-mail but the magazine would only refer us to the statement on its website.

Meanwhile, ex-members are starting their own blogs to spread the word and warn others.

"Heidi is no different from many others on the internet," said Dr. Marc Siegel. "They know people need hope in connection with cancer drugs, HIV drugs, obesity, and if you have the ability to lie to people that need hope, you're gonna make a lot of money on the Internet."


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What is eaten in one week around the world...

Germany: The Melander family of Bargteheide
Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07

United States: The Revis family of North Carolina
Food expenditure for one week $341.98

Italy: The Manzo family of Sicily
Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11

Mexico: The Casales family of Cuernavaca
Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09

Poland: The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna
Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27

Egypt: The Ahmed family of Cairo
Food expenditure for one week: 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53

Ecuador: The Ayme family of Tingo
Food expenditure for one week: $31.55

Bhutan: The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village
Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03

Chad: The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp
Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or $1.23

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Saturday, February 23, 2008


Isabelle Hogg

Anonymous, I am haunted and heartbroken by your comments about your granddaughter who is suffering from anorexia.

Please watch this video. There is hope for your beloved granddaughter:

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Thursday, February 21, 2008


Photo by Richard Avedon

From The Times of London

"February 20, 2008

Slim pickings on the model front

Ultra-thin is still in, and there’s not much super about the models at Milan Fashion Week

Lisa Armstrong, Fashion Editor

During Milan Fashion Week last September, a headline-provoking image of an anorexic model’s naked 4st 12lb (31kg) frame was stretched provocatively (and distressingly) across numerous billboards. The label involved issued a statement saying that it had deliberately chosen her to bring home the distorted body messages transmitted by fashion. Measured by the column inches gained, the shock tactic was highly effective, though in advertising the message is always undermined to an extent by the motive – especially in Italy, where paying lip service comes more easily than paying taxes.

Maybe that’s why, despite officially banning – along with Madrid Fashion Week – models with a body mass index (BMI) below 18, nothing has really changed on the catwalks here. There are still shows by established designers featuring cadaverous bodies that would no longer be tolerated in London – although, ironically, the latter has not adopted the ban (as The Times reflected in a leading article last week). Instead, the British Fashion Council has put into place several regulations which – and here I disagree with last week’s criticism – are ultimately more thoughtful and practicable than a headline-grabbing and arbitrary clampdown on BMIs, including enforcing an age limit (no girls under 16), policing backstage areas for drugs (zero tolerance) and establishing a models’ union.

The headline image this week may well prove to be the one shown above, from an exhibition of Richard Avedon’s work that has just opened in Milan, sponsored by Versace. In days of yore, Avedon’s collaboration with the supermodels for Versace’s ads became as much a part of the wallpaper of the 1990s as Oasis and Blur were the soundtrack. But there are no supermodels now, only (mainly) anonymous Eastern Europeans who, besides being built differently from the supers (who were thin but not emaciated), exude a kind of dislocated isolation as opposed to the supers’ imperious sexiness. The Eastern Europeans are less prone to diva behaviour and more likely to accept lower pay and inferior working conditions. As for using men as footstools and sofas, what would be the point? They wouldn’t be able to weigh them down, nor be convincing as women in charge. "


I came across the Times of London article while reading my newspaper this morning. The first thing that jumped out at me was the reference in the first paragraph to the "headline-provoking image of an anorexic model’s naked 4st 12lb (31kg) [68 pounds] frame was stretched provocatively (and distressingly) across numerous billboards."

That "anorexic model" is Isabelle Caro....

After reading the entire article, I was shocked as I was under the impression that the fashion industry had clamped down on using emaciated models who had a BMI below 18. To now read that they were still on the catwalks in the UK and Europe shocked me...

And then I remembered a startling article and video I had stumbled upon a few weeks ago.

It is heartbreaking.

"Did Model Die From Pressure to Be Thin?

Photographer Blasts Fashion Industry for Promoting Skinny Models, Pushes for Reforms

Fashion photographer Adi Barkan is shown cradling Hila Elmalich in a still from a video shot when the model fell ill. (Gil Sadan/Tamar Golan Film)


JERUSALEM, Israel, Nov. 19, 2007 —

When Israeli fashion model Hila Elmalich died last week after years of fighting anorexia, she weighed less than 60 pounds. Her death sent a shockwave through Israel's fashion world.

Elmalich, who had been in and out of hospitals for several years, collapsed at home and died Wednesday of heart failure.

The Israeli fashion photographer and modeling agent Adi Barkan was her friend. He spent hours at her bedside over the years. "I don't know how to feel, I don't know what to say," he told ABC News Monday. "It's still too fresh."

For the last three years Barkan has been campaigning against the fashion industry's use of super thin models. He now refuses to use models whose body mass index is less than 19. The BMI is an internationally recognized measure of a person's weight in relation to their height.

[Calculate your body mass index at the National Institutes of Health site:]

Barkan led the charge against the pressure on models to be ultra-thin, and in 2004 Israel became the first nation to pass laws requiring modeling agencies to hire only healthy models who have a body mass index -- a measure of body fat -- of 19 or above. That means that a 5'9" woman would have to weigh at least 129 pounds.

Barkan is convinced from his own experience working in the industry that young models are under intense pressure to lose weight. "In Israel we lost several sizes in 10 years!" he said, "when I was shooting fashion 10 years ago models were size 38, now it's 32 or 34."

Two years ago ABC News visited Adi at his studio in Haifa where he was working on a sporting catalogue. The three teenage models on the set were clearly in good health. He had just judged a national modeling competition and was shocked at the number of teenage girls who were under weight.

He is also campaigning internationally to change attitudes in the fashion world. "They say a lot but they did nothing yet, so let's do it! Because from talking nothing will move," he told ABC News.

Over two years ago Elmalich was admitted to hospital. Adi rushed to her bedside, along with a film crew that caught the harrowing pictures of Hila collapsing into his arms, unable to support her own weight. "When she fell down, I felt the bones going into my legs, like a knife. When she fell down, I felt like I took hold of something from the grave," he added.

This experience and Hila's sudden death last week have shocked her old friend. But he is determined to carry on with his campaign. Adi Barkan hopes this tragedy will provide the necessary momentum to finally change attitudes in the fashion industry. The issue of skinny models flared up across the globe last year with several high-profile incidents.

In August, 22-year-old Uruguayan model Luisel Ramos died during Fashion Week in Montevideo after reportedly surviving on lettuce and diet drinks. "

The video of ADI BARKIN and HILA ELMALICH can be viewed here:

It is time for this insanity to stop.

My earlier blog post about Isabelle Caro and Luisel Ramos is here:



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Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer

Bonnie Luper aka Chicken Lady

Tippy Toes aka Jeannie Baitinger

Becky Winn

Jimmy Moore aka Low Carb Man

MJR has a most interesting post on her blog today regarding some very cryptic comments which appeared on Mariasol's blog.

Could this be an example of Six Degrees of Separation?

Take a gander at MJR's post: More Cryptic Messages

The riddles are delicious and the clues very curious, indeed.

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CORRECTION (Thursday, February 21, 2008):

I received the following e-mail this morning from a member of Polly's family:

"I just wanted to clarify that polly didn’t o.d. on the sleeping pills at night after she blogged about being so sleepy. She went to sleep and got up the next day. I know her blog and then reports of her death make it appear that she was “so sleepy” and then took a bunch of sleeping pills and died. I am a family member and wanted to clear that part up. I hope that you and many others that looked to Polly for inspiration will not become discouraged by her death. There is hope for recovery and much life to be lived afterwards!!!!!! "
And the following is part of my response to Polly's family member:

"Polly was such an inspiration to so many and it broke my heart when I received the news that she had passed away. Please know that her spirit will live on in the lives of the thousands of people she touched in her own special way.

My heart goes out to you and your family members. Please know that you and your family are not only in my thoughts but in those of the thousands of people who loved Polly.

Again, thank you SO much for writing. I appreciate it so much.

All the very best, and again, my sincerest condolences...



UPDATE (Monday, February 18, 2008) :

From IndyStar:

"By Valerie J. Nelson
Los Angeles Times

Pollack "Polly" Ann Williams, who was featured in the HBO documentary "Thin," an unflinching look at several women with serious eating disorders, was found dead Feb. 8 in her Hixson, Tenn., home. She was 33.

Williams died from an overdose of sleeping pills, a suicide that was "a direct result of her internal battle with the eating disorder," said her sister, Bebe W. Reed. "She said she could not fight the fight any longer."

Lauren Greenfield, who made the 2006 documentary, said of Williams on her Web site: "In her short life, she touched more people than most people do in their lifetime."

Appearing in "Thin" was a challenge for the intensely private Williams, who often said she agreed to be filmed because she hoped her story might move others to seek help.

As many as 10 million girls and women in the U.S. are fighting a life-threatening eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia, according to the National Eating Disorders Association.

The documentary was filmed at Renfrew Center, a treatment center in Coconut Creek, Fla., and received praise when it was screened two years ago at the Sundance Film Festival.

Much of the film's drama centers around Williams, who discloses that she checked into the clinic after trying to kill herself over eating two slices of pizza.

Williams bonds with other patients and struggles to eat a cupcake as others provide support. She sneaks away to get a tattoo of an "eating disorder recovery" symbol and slips her psychiatric medications to another patient. For violating rules, she is asked to leave the center.

Eventually, Williams completed a 10-week outpatient program in Chattanooga, Tenn., for people with eating disorders.

In addition to her sister, Williams is survived by her mother; stepfather; father; two other sisters; a stepsister; two grandmothers; and a grandfather. "


Knowing that Polly overdosed on sleeping pills, her last entry in her journal written the night she died is all the more haunting:

"So...I am off to bed. Yawn! Yep, I am sleepy. :-)"

How sad, how bloody tragic.

BamaGal has written a superb post on the correlation between suicide, eating disorders and WLS.

Please click here to read her most excellent post: Suicide, Eating Disorders and WLS .



Polly Williams, who was profiled in the HBO documentary, Thin, died on Friday, February 8, 2008, at the age of 33. Polly suffered from anorexia nervosa for many years.

This is her last journal entry on the evening she died...

"FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2008 02:48 AM, EST

Hey guys!

I know. I am waayyyy overdue for an update. Life has just been super busy and crazy hectic. I have lots of updates, but I am just too dog-gone tired tonight. It is so late, and I have been working on stuff for my new position all evening. It is past my bedtime, so this little crazy gal needs to grab some beauty sleep. :-) I promise to update at some point this weekend.
Miss all of you so much. I know that I haven't been available much lately, but hopefully that will change soon as life calms down a bit. I just really appreciate all of your support and words of wisdom. I treasure every single message that y'all post, so thank you so much.
So...I am off to bed. Yawn! Yep, I am sleepy. :-)"

And then she was gone. Polly committed suicide.


In the documentary, Thin, Polly said...

“Dieting has always been a huge part of my life. I remember all the things that are signs of eating disorders being taught by my family; cut my food into really small pieces, and chew very slowly and take your time, and drink water in between so your stomach fills up faster. I was counting calories and fat by the time I was 11. "

For those of you on the Kimkins starvation diet, the Magic Chicken Diet, or any other VLCD (very low calorie diet), you, too, may be on the deadly path to an eating disorder and death. Those suffering from eating disorders often end their pain by taking their own lives.

Polly, may your spirit find the peace it never had on earth. You touched many lives and all are richer for having known you.

You may view the documentary, Thin, by clicking my blog post here:

And please visit the links below to read more about Polly.

LINKS: (Polly's Journal)

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