NIKKI PILKINGTON FOUND !!! AND MY APOLOGY TO NIKKI...

Well, imagine my surprise this morning when I opened my e-mail and discovered messages from none other than my gorgeous (and very funny) mole applicant, the one and only NIKKI PILKINGTON!

It appears I have been barking up the wrong tree. You know, when you discover you're wrong, and I'm talking REALLY WRONG, it's only right to fess up.

Firstly, Nikki, please accept my sincere and humble apologies. I'm hoping you're of the opinion that any publicity, be it bad or good, is, as convicted felon Martha Stewart is so fond of saying, "a good thing."

Here are the messages I received from Nikki last night, and I have to say she's an awfully good sport:

"Oh my god!! I'm famous!!

seriously, there is no way I have anything to do with Kimmer, although a couple of years ago, whoever was in charge of PR (not jeannie) asked me to do some promotion. I think I got one sign up LOL

I haven't been in touch as I have so many new clients in my real business that i've had no time to be a mole - I was actually just going to send you my login so you could mole away yourself, but i guess you've ruined that now.... although i'm happy to help anti-kk sites with search engine positions....

As for the comment that i am a skinny russian bride - LOL i wish!! The reason i found kimkins in the first place is that i'm far from skinny!!! "

~~~~~

"Ooohh I'm famous!!! For the record, i'm not a russian bride (nor skinny or pretty LOL).I have just been really busy with work and have had no time to look in KK, sorry. But thanks for outing me Medusa - way to go :) My actual plan was to send you my login so you could mole away in your own time. I guess by now my login has been cancelled....A long time ago (before jeannie and right at the beginning of KK) I was asked to promote it on a 'cost per signup' deal - I think I got one signup :) I had no time then for CPS deals and I have no time now.I also have no time for people who post rubbish about me on the internet, when that is my livelihood and pays to feed my children. There is a phone number on every page of my website Medusa - you were welcome to call that at any time. "

~~~~~

[NOTE: This is the email Nikki received from Kimmer in response to Nikki's request for her password, which she had forgotten. I have deleted personal info from the e-mail]

"here you go - enjoy - please email me when you've posted your apology/

-----Original Message-----
From: Kimmer [mailto:paymentssupport@kimkins.com]
Sent: ***** ***** ***** *****
To: *****
Subject:
******

Hi *****,

Who knows what happens with computers? I reset
your password below. [SNIP]

User: ********
Pass: *****

Enjoy!
Kimmer
"

Ticket Details
===================
Ticket ID:
*****
Department: Membership & Payments
Priority: High
Status: Closed
~~~~~

"Oooh and, as a 'Kimmer' plant, i've not actually sent you anything medusa - how fab a mole am I? Surely if I were working for Kimmer I would have sent you 'something' ?

Or maybe i've been too busy with my new book launch, new clients and my family, to ferret around kimkins.com?

I don't support Kimmer at all, but neither do i support the paranoia and false accusations that seem to follow her detractors."

~~~~~

"The first thing that struck me was why on earth would an "Internet Marketing
Expert" want to be my mole."


Why the hell not? Since when does what i do for a living affect my belief that Kimmer is bad?

~~~~~

"how crap a mole am I that i haven't sent you anything? if i were kimmer's 'plant' then surely i would have been in touch? LOL "

Nikki, you made my morning. You have a great sense of humour and are an extremely good sport. God, I admire that.

It appears that Medusa has pissed on her chips. But I'm hoping, Nikki, that you're the forgiving sort and that I'm still able to take advantage of your offer to "help anti-kk sites with search engine positions."

My fellow bloggers and I need your expertise, Nikki, so any help you can give us will be greatly appreciated, especially in light of the fact that Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer is still flogging her deadly Kimkins starvation diet and continuing to lure new people to her website, despite all the bad publicity out there about her and her deadly diet. Unfortunately, Kimkins continues to rank at the top of Google listings. Any help you can give us will be greatly appreciated and you will have our undying gratitude.

Now, how can I get my hands on a copy of your new book? I'll send you my payment via Paypal :^)

Cheers!

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WHERE IN THE WORLD IS MY MOLE, NIKKI PILKINGTON ???

FOR AN UPDATE ON NIKKI (AND MY APOLOGY TO HER), PLEASE CLICK HERE:

NIKKI PILKINGTON FOUND !!! AND MY APOLOGY TO NIKKI

In two posts at the beginning of January 2008, I put out a call for a mole to assist me in accessing the Kimkins website to monitor the posts of Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer.

Here are links to the two posts:

WHAT ??? NO MOLE APPLICANTS YET? SAY IT AIN'T SO ...

MOLE WANTED ~~ NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY !!!

I immediately received a response to my second post from none other than NIKKI PILKINGTON, and this is her e-mail to me:

"I'm happy to help - I may still have a valid login for Kimkins - will need to check!
nikki@***"

Wanting to check the background of Ms. Pilkington, I did the usual Google searches on her, and this is what I found at http://www.nikkipilkington.com/

The first thing that struck me was why on earth would an "Internet Marketing Expert" want to be my mole. As I read Nikki's profile, this popped out at me:

About NikkiPilkington.com
Higher Google Listings
Higher Search Engine Listings
Google Marketing Plans
Internet Marketing Training
E-Marketing Consultancy
Internet Marketing Expert Blog

"I developed my skills in search engine listings, email campaigns, banner advertising, and more. I wrote articles, gave out advice, and slowly but surely built up a reputation for being the expert that could help people to make the most of their websites.

And over the last twelve years, I have helped small, medium and large sized businesses to realise their potential on the Internet, through a variety of services. Firstly running my own company, then running the online department of a marketing agency based in Northampton, and now working as NikkiPilkington.com, an Internet Marketing Company based in Milton Keynes and Leicester.

I now work with a team of associates that are all experts in their field; whether that be running an email campaign, dealing with online PR, or anything else that is needed. However, the search engine listings and online advertising is my speciality and will always be handled by me."

Well, alarm bells went off and I realized that, in all likelihood, there was a connection between Heidi Diaz and Nikki Pilkington. There is no doubt in my mind that Heidi Diaz has used the services of Nikki Pilkington to optimize Kimkins search engine rankings.

With that info re Nikki, I sent her an e-mail on January 2/08 thanking her for her offer to be a mole at Kimkins.

Nikki's response on January 2/08:

"Hiya

No problem - i've requested my password as I can't remember it.

I'll let you know what happens!!

Nikki"

And then this on January 3/08:

"I have my password, i'm going in :D"

Not having heard from Nikki, I wrote her again on January 5/08:

"Hi, Nikki!

Wondered if you've had a chance to check out Kimkins yet.

Many thanks.

Medusa"

Since I received no response from Nikki, I then made this post on my blog, hoping it would get a rise out of her:

THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE FOLD...

To date, I have heard nothing from Nikki.

So Heidi, just a little hint.....next time you enlist the services of a mole, make sure she is not so transparent.

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THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE FOLD...

In two recent blog posts, I put out an APB for a mole to do some digging for me at the Kimkins website (Heidi's fold).

You can find those blog posts here:


MOLE WANTED ~~ NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY !!! and


WHAT ??? NO MOLE APPLICANTS YET? SAY IT AIN'T SO ...


Quite a few applicants were "hired" and are relaying important information to me from inside Heidi's fold.

However, one of the mole prospects who contacted me, pledging to do some serious digging, immediately set off alarm bells for me. And what that particular mole did not realize is that I knew from the outset that he/she was a double-agent, working for Heidi Diaz/Kimmer.

So with me feeding this mole erroneous information, the mole advised me that he/she would begin searching for that erroneous information provided by me.

And now the two of us are in the midst of an elaborate game of cat-and-mouse, dancing on the edge and weaving our devious deceits.

So, Heidi, I just wanted you to know that two can play this game and that your attempt to thwart my mission was so thinly veiled it was laughable. You see, I have had personal experience in the "spy game" and though you may think you are clever and cagey, you've just met your match, honey.

To my legitimate moles who are currently working on my behalf behind the scenes, thank you so much.

If anyone else would like to sign up as a Kimkins mole, please send me an e-mail to medusa_blog@hotmail.com. I assure you that all responses will be held strictly confidential.

And to my double-agent mole, this is my message to you:

I SAW WHAT YOU DID AND I KNOW WHO YOU ARE...

LINKS TO PICTURES:

http://www.amazon.com/Spy-Who-Came-Cold/dp/6301105915

http://www.answers.com/topic/i-saw-what-you-did-1?cat=entertainment

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WHAT ??? NO MOLE APPLICANTS YET? SAY IT AIN'T SO !!!

Since my post earlier today, not one mole applicant has responded. I'm crushed.

Here is the link to my original post:

MOLE WANTED ~~ NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY !!!

So, in an effort to elicit at least one response, I have lowered the job qualifications.

The revised qualifications are as follows:

Job Qualifications

NO education is required

NO foreign language proficiency, but double-talk is a plus

NO interpersonal skills

NO solid writing ability

A strong interest in safe dieting is necessary

Maximum age for entry is 110

Any citizenship is allowed, including aliens from outer space

Applicants DO NOT have to successfully complete a medical examination, polygraph interview or an extensive background investigation

~~~~~~~~~~

Hopefully the revised job qualifications will broaden the scope for would-be applicants.

Please, don't all apply at the same time because my ISP will implode.

Looking forward to the deluge of applicants.

Good luck to everyone. May the best woman/man/alien win the job!

UPDATE!!!

Thanks to everyone who has contacted me re the MOLE position!

A few of you have left me Anonymous comments offering your assistance, but I am unable to respond to you because I don't have your e-mail addresses.

So please send me another Anonymous comment with your e-mail address and I'll be in touch with you right away.

Your e-mail address will be kept strictly confidential.

Thanks so much!

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MOLE WANTED ~~ NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY !!!

There's been a paucity of information coming from deep inside the Kimkins
website these days.....in fact, forthcoming information has ground to a screeching halt.

This worries me, as many dieters desperate to lose weight have signed up with Kimkins, even after all the negative publicity surrounding the Kimkins starvation diet and its founder, Heidi Diaz/Kimmer has been brought to light.


So I thought I would put out an APB for a mole to do some digging for me at the Kimpound.


Firstly, if you wish to apply for this position, kindly read the following:

Mole Personality Quiz Text

Our intelligence mission is the work of the dieting nation — and our success depends on a network of professionals around the world.

Myth 1- You’ll Never See Your Family and Friends Again

The work you will do may be secret, but that doesn’t mean your life will be. Your friends and family will still be part of your life.

Myth 2- Everyone Drives a Sports Car with Machine Guns in the Tailpipes

Car chases through the alleyways of a foreign city are common on TV, but they’re not what a mole's career is about. And, they don’t compare with the reality of being part of worldwide intelligence operations supporting a global mission to rid the world of the deadly Kimkins diet.

Myth 3- You Have to be Superhuman in Every Way

You don't have to know karate or look good in a tuxedo to work as a mole. But you must possess a deep intellect, the ability to make good decisions and a dedication to serving dieters worldwide through the collection of intelligence.

Myth 4- A Glamorous Lifestyle Awaits You

Working as a mole doesn’t mean you’ll be jet-setting around the globe, attending parties with billionaires and showing off your Tango skills. In reality, we depend on administrative managers and staff for our operational success, at home and abroad.

Myth 5-Hardly Anyone Ever Makes it Through the Background Check

Because of our security role, mole applicants must meet specific qualifications — but, don’t worry. Getting caught smoking in high school isn’t enough to disqualify you. Your intellect, skills, experience and desire to serve the dieting nation are most important to us.

Job Qualifications

The minimum of a Grade 3 education is required

Foreign language proficiency, especially double-talk, is a plus

Interpersonal skills, solid writing ability, and a strong interest in safe dieting are necessities

Maximum age for entry is 102

Any citizenship is allowed

Applicants DO NOT have to successfully complete a medical examination, polygraph interview and an extensive background investigation

~~~~~

To be considered for employment as a mole for Medusa, please leave an anonymous comment on this post. Your comment will be automatically forwarded to me via e-mail for publication. To ensure total secrecy, I will NOT publish your comment so that your anonymity is maintained.

Any and all candidates will be given consideration. And thank you in advance for your interest in this position.

UPDATE !!!

Thanks to everyone who has contacted me re the MOLE position!

A few of you have left me Anonymous comments offering your assistance, but I am unable to respond to you because I don't have your e-mail addresses.

So please send me another Anonymous comment with your e-mail address and I'll be in touch with you right away.

Your e-mail address will be kept strictly confidential. Thanks so much!

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