Showing posts with label Deni. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deni. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

PRO-ANA / PRO-MIA: LA DANSE MACABRE

pro ana

"Ana's Last Night"

Lying here hungry ...
My whole body in pain ...
Should probably eat something ...
But I feel too ashamed ...

Starting to shiver now ...
Beginning to shake ...
God how I love this ...
How my body just aches ...

Got up for some cold water ...
Then to take a cold shower ...
Remind myself that soon ...
I'll be a delicate flower ...

Did 3 hours exercise ...
But I must do some more ...
Still got one pound to loose ...
Like the pound I lost before ...

Whoa, got a dizzy head rush ...
Colors dancing all around me ...
Like little tiny faerie angels ...
Wanting to set me free ...

Oh wow, I'm floating with them ...
Going high up in the sky ...
I finally made it! ...
To the thinness that is I ..."
~~~~~~~~~~

What is PRO-ANA?

"Pro-ana refers to the promotion or support of anorexia nervosa as a lifestyle choice rather than an eating disorder. It is often referred to simply as "ana" and is sometimes affectionately personified by anorexics as a girl named Ana." (from Wikipedia)

What is PRO-MIA?

"Pro-mia is the belief that bulimia nervosa is a lifestyle choice rather than an illness."

This belief, along with pro-ana, has been criticised for creating an environment in which those suffering from eating disorders might not seek treatment. Pro-mia supporters respond that they do not recognise bulimia nervosa as a disorder worthy of treatment but much like any social activity which, taken to extremes, can cause physical and psychological harm. They argue that although some of the pro-bulimia/anorexia sites promote the conditions in a positive way, the majority of them are a place where individuals can cope or share their pain with one another.
"(from Wikipedia)



~~~~~~~~~~


"Thin Commandments **

If you aren't thin, you aren't attractive

Being thin is more important than being healthy

You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself thinner

Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty

Thou shall not eat fattening foods without punishing oneself afterwards

Thou shall count cals and restrict intake accordingly

What the scales say is the most important thing

losing weight is good, gaining weight is bad

You can never be too thin

Being thin and not eating are true signs of willpower and success"

~~~~~~~~~~


THE PRO-ANA/PRO-MIA LINK TO KIMKINS





The starvation experienced by persons with anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa can cause damage to vital organs such as the heart and brain. Pulse rate and blood pressure drop, and people often experience irregular heart rhythms or heart failure. Nutritional deprivation causes calcium loss from bones, which can become brittle and prone to breakage.

In the worst-case scenario, people with anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa starve themselves to death. These conditions kill up to six percent of their victims.

Many people who followed the Kimkins starvation diet developed serious eating disorders, ultimately becoming pro-ana and/or pro-mia.

Two of the most prominent people who suffered disordered eating as a result of the Kimkins diet are Christin Sherburne and Deni Huttula, the two women featured in Woman's World magazine when that "magazine" (term used loosely) did a cover story on the deadly Kimkins Diet.

Since the publication of the magazine, both Deni and Christin have left Kimkins and reported the following potentially deadly effects they suffered, and continue to suffer, as a result of following the Kimkins diet:

From Deni:

"Kimmer's words in response to questions about people who think Kimkins is proana:

'Low Calories/Pro Ana We are low calorie after ketosis kicks in or with the shake option, but those calories are identical to post-WLS patients (500 cal a day for months), original Optifast and Medifast (450-700 cal a day for months). I don't think we can fight the '1200 calorie a day mentality'. Some people cannot understand that your body takes the calories it needs from body fat if the calories you eat are too low to sustain current weight. If you need 2500 calories (250 lb person) and eat 500 (number picked for easy math), the other 2000 are taken from body fat. In Jimmy's interview I meant what I said about take a Weight Watcher or Jenny Craig meal and remove the starches. What's left? Kimkins. There is no health advantage to adding carbs or extra fat, so why is removing them (and having less calories)
dangerous? 1200 calories a day is an arbitrary number (like 8 glasses of water). Anorexia is a psychological disorder.
Do we have people with ED on Kimkins? Of course. I weighed 318 pounds and you don't get that big without an improper relationship with food so I have an ED. But low calories aren't an ED, otherwise all of the WLS patients would be medically classified anorexic.' (bolding mine)

"I have seen Kimmer on NUMEROUS occasions tell people to eat less, even when they were eating less than 800 calories a day. She personally recommended to me when I started to stick to ranges between 600 and 800, and to drop to closer to 500 if I stalled. This is what Kimkins is... there is no way you can possibly stick to the "rules" of the plan and end up with more than 800 calories on a regular basis."

~ and ~

"Here's my side effects:

1. extra periods (told this was normal)

2. loss of hair ... loss of about 60% of my thickness if not more. (told it was normal, and even looked it up online for myself! Saw that it said it was common in people who were dieting and skimmed over the part that said "fad diets" or nutritionally deficient diets.)

3. Lightheaded dizzy spells- never mentioned these to anyone .. they were not an everyday occurrence, and I had them sometimes prior to this diet so I easily ignored them.

4. Weird blurred vision- like my eyes would dilate at different degrees... things would get fuzzy and look far away and warped.. I would then readjust my own "focus" and a few minutes later it was back to normal. Again.. I didn't mention it.. figured it was a fluke.. it only happened a few times.

5. heart flutters- never mentioned these to anyone either. Even when they happened, I dismissed them in my mind as quickly as I could. (these are still happening randomly)

Other strange things I noticed:

6. Peanut butter CRAVINGS... like really super cravings... and I knew I wasn't the only one having this. I read post after post after post about people who were feeling guilty for giving into peanut butter or any kind of nuts. So, I wrote this off as "normal"

7. Milkshake CRAVINGS... again.. these cravings were much stronger than any craving I'd ever had before dieting. I heard lots of other people also talk about craving milkshakes, including my mom who also did the diet.

both of these "cravings" were something that I, along with many others, chalked up to a strange coincidence, and I either ignored it.. or caved in a little and then felt extremely guilty about it.
Now, I'm really wondering if there is something in the peanut butter(nuts) and milk shakes that our bodies were SCREAMING for!!! Like maybe more fat? Calcium?

I often typed in "listen to your body" over and over again in posts.. and it wasn't until late August that I started to realize that even cravings were a way that our body tells us what it needs.

Anyway... I still don't know if there's anything wrong with me or not.. my doctor has ordered lots of tests to see where I'm "depleted" of certain things, and warned me strongly that while being extremely overweight isn't good for your health, or for you heart... that sometimes losing it all super fast and not getting all the nutrients necessary for bodily functions.. is an even quicker route to heart disease.

So, now I'm wondering.. where inside Kimkins does it list "possible side effects"? Where is the "warning label", the "if these symptoms arise, get it checked out announcement" ?
With EVERY weight loss pill or plan that I've ever been on, there has been a warning list.. and a "common side effects" or even "in extreme cases side effects" list.. that I always read. I know myself.. and I just about always choose NOT to take medicines that have side effects that concern me. If I had been warned about these things, I don't think I would have joined. If I had been warned about the possibility of these things, I certainly would not have convinced others to join!

The sad part really is, is that I didn't realize that I wasn't the only one with these symptoms until I started reading OFFSITE.I hated reading those "other forums" because they made everything sound so bad. They made me feel bad, and they exaggerated things so much. But, the symptoms they mentioned sounded vaguely familiar to me. They knotted up my stomach, and made me want to either fight or run away and pretend I never heard what they said.
I saw some try to fight them....
and I resorted to my usual, curl up and ignore it technique for awhile.

If I did mention my worries to others inside Kimkins I only got pats on the back and reassurances that of course everything would be fine, and "that's normal, don't worry!"

And NOW.. it's even worse.. if you even ask about a negative effect, you're likely to be "accused" of stirring up the pot, or if you point out your negative side effects, you're likely to get banned. :(
How is that safe for other members??? Shouldn't everyone be made aware of symptoms to be on the look out for? I'm sure there are lots more negative effects that I didn't have... and from the stories I've heard elsewhere.. I can only count myself lucky.

This is not a joking matter, this is not time for a "band-aid" announcement that "of course, you should always check with your doctor". Or even comments to make those of us who "ignored symptoms" appear stupid or crazy or "extreme". This is time to get real and time to take your health seriously.

How many of you truly talked to your doctors about your plan?

Did you show him the food list?

Did you mention that you really only eat a few items on that list?

Did you show him your fitday?

Did you write symptoms off as normal because you heard someone else had the same thing?

I said that one of the reasons why I wanted to lose weight was because I wanted to be here long enough to see my kids and future grand kids grow up.

Now, it's possible that losing weight has lowered the chances of that actually happening.

I remember when we often joked about how Kimkins didn't need that little small print disclaimer of "results not typical" on our success stories.

Perhaps she does need to put up a disclaimer that "results ARE typical" on the side effects listing!!!

If you're still doing Kimkins, as written or not... please stop for awhile and really take a look at your own symptoms. Don't glorify your "pros" list and minimize your "cons" list.

You can get those "pros" with lots of safe plans, and eliminate the cons. Just think about it. And don't ignore the promptings of your heart right now." (all bolding mine)
~~~~~~~~~~

From Christin:

"The diet program is unsafe and can cause severe damage beginning with slow, unrecognized starvation and malnutrition.

Through the next few months, the dangers of this program became increasingly evident as more members began complaining of the same symptoms and side effects. Slow and steady starvation methods utilizing a caloric intake of significantly less than 1000 calories a day was the norm. The daily intake of less calories and less fat was not only encouraged, but praised as new members began to feel “snatty” (Slightly Nauseous All The Time), lightheaded, and generally weakened. Tips for controlling hunger varied but all were primarily synonymous with little to no caloric intake. All for the sake of losing weight fast. But at what cost to the individual’s physical and psychological condition?

Disguised eating disorders emerged; serious malnutrition indicators like hair loss, heart palpitations, electrolyte and potassium deficiencies were commonly reported. I did not learn of the potentially deadly side effects of my eating habits till after I completed the program. I had shrugged the symptoms that I had off as “typical” or short term.

Bottom line, starvation works to take off pounds – here, just like in Ethiopia or Dachau. The difference is that in those sad places, the people knew they were starving. Kimkins moderators are merely overweight peers with eating disorders of their own (speaking from personal experience), completely unqualified to assess what constitutes nutritional dangers.

Do not let the tantalizing beauty of rapid weight loss hinder the ultimate goal of a better life and good health.

There are many effective and safe weight loss programs out there today. Diet responsibly; do your research; always remember to speak with your physician regarding your plans. Do not desperately trade obesity for broken health."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ana Psalm **

Strict is my diet.
I must not want.
It maketh me to lie down at night hungry.
It leadeth me past the confectioners.
It trieth my willpower.
It leadeth me in the paths of alteration for my figure's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the aisles of the pastry department, I will buy no sweet rolls for they are fattening.
The cakes and the pies, they tempt me.
Before me is a table set with green beans and lettuce.
I filleth my stomach with liquids,
My day's quota runneth over.
Surely calorie and weight charts will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the fear of the scales forever.


Ana Creed **

I believe in Control, the only force mighty enough to bring order to the chaos that is my world.

I believe that I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever to have existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time and attention.

I believe that other people who tell me differently must be idiots. If they could see how I really am, then they would hate me almost as much as I do.

I believe in oughts, musts and shoulds as unbreakable laws to determine my daily behavior.
I believe in perfection and strive to attain it.

I believe in salvation through trying just a bit harder than I did yesterday.

I believe in calorie counters as the inspired word of god, and memorize them accordingly.

I believe in bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and failures

I believe in hell, because I sometimes think that I'm living in it.

I believe in a wholly black and white world, the losing of weight, recrimination for sins, the abnegation of the body and a life ever fasting.


Ana Prayer **

Forgive me Ana for I have sinned. It has been 30 seconds since my last confession.
I am weak, fat, and not worthy of such support.
I am ready to fall. I pray, please make me thin, tiny, non-existent.
Take me away from food, block it out.
I pray please for your guidance, for your firm voice to ring out in my head.
Yell at me please. Scream!
Keep me alone and away from the cupboards.
Help me to stay strong.
Be with me always and I will not forsake you.
Guard me from eating, committing sin against you.
I should rather than suffer than sin for there is strength in suffering.
Ana, I love you, please make me thin.

~~~~~~~~~~

Please, if you recognize pro-ana, pro-mia, or any other disordered-eating behaviour in any of your friends or loved ones, please notify their family immediately. It could mean the difference between life and death.

LINKS:

CHRISTIN:

DENI:

*POEM:

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Monday, December 31, 2007

NEWS FLASH !!! RE-AIRING TODAY OF FOX-TV’s “Morning Show with Mike and Juliet” featuring the KIMKINS DIET SCAM !!!


FOX-TV’s “Morning Show with Mike and Juliet," re-aired their feature on the Kimkins Diet Scam this morning (December 31, 2007).

And this is the byline for the show:

"One woman lost 100 pounds and that’s not all — you won’t believe what happened next! M&J take you inside the dangerous Kimkins diet that some call 'Atkins meets anorexia.'"

Let's hope the show was updated, advising viewers that Jeannie Baitinger (aka Tippy Toes) has since left Kimkins, and after being granted immunity, is now providing information to John Tiedt, the lawyer for the Plaintiffs in the class-action suit against Heidi Diaz/Kimmer.

If you missed the show's repeat this morning, you can view it in its entirety, plus read a transcipt of the show, by clicking on these links:


FOX-TV’s “Morning Show with Mike and Juliet," on the Kimkins Diet Scam














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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

MORE SHOTS FIRED !!!



In her blog post on LCF last night, ANIPOMONI, fires a round and Deni takes a direct hit:

"Quote:

Originally Posted by Awakened [aka Deni, former Kimkins poster-girl]

What you may not realize is that this whole discussion is only making her words seem more true to anyone who isn't "one of you".
.......

I know you all only want to look at her "angry" words... but I don't think it's fair to only look at someone's anger when they are trying to express themselves in a fair and balanced way. She isn't one sided and mean here.. she is pointing out the negatives AND the positives at LCF...................

I (and BEcky too for that matter) appreciate all the exposing that you have done. I know how hard you all have worked...

I've watched it play out right here on this board. But some of you may not realize that sometimes things need to stay BEHIND the scenes in order to actually accomplish things legally. Tipping of the enemy is not always the best game plan.

And when someone points out that you (the Fascination thread heros) aren't above reproach yourselves.. the first reaction is to poke fun at them and laugh at the idea that she might have a tiny bit of truth in her statements."

[ANIPOMONI]:
"I hate to say it like this, but in the grand scheme of things, you guys really didn't do much. Nothing positive anyway. You lent credibility to a fraudulent and unhealthy diet (unintentianally of course), you drove business into Heidi's pocket. If it wasn't for people here, you would probably still be on kk. Actually, if people here stopped searching for the truth every time someone wrote something negative about LCF in their journal, we probably wouldn't have gotten 5 pages in on the #1 Fascination thread.

I even remember one of you complaining of not getting all the $$ you were entitled to for affiliate leads. This was AFTER the fraud. Uhhh...hello? It's money from a fraud, why would you want it? Is that the Christian thing?

But no one brings this stuff up, because everyone here is truly not as mean as they are portrayed. Umm...except me I guess.

And don't count me as one of the "you" here. Because I am not. I am way too blunt and don't do much but lurk here (and sit on my fingers), so my views and especially the way I say them, should in no way reflect anyone here. They are all much nicer than me. "

'Quote: Originally Posted by Tooter

The problem was that we were all called haters by you guys Before your eyes were opened and Becky's post re-enforces that she still feels the same way about "Us/They".'

[ANIPOMONI]:

"Don't forget that people here were attacked at every single, solitary point on this journey. From the very beginning we were haters because we were questioning the pictures. If we (I am including myself here even though I did nothing) just backed away b/c someone said something nasty in her journal.....well, a lot of people would still be following (and working for) kimkins.

[and now I really have to catch up]

ETA: Ok I really should read on before I respond. Just read cleo's post and she totally said what I meant...but much better"

FOR CLARITY'S SAKE, HERE IS AWAKENED'S ORIGINAL POST ON LCF:

"I am probably going to regret this, but I feel that I have to say something on this whole Becky discussion.

What you may not realize is that this whole discussion is only making her words seem more true to anyone who isn't "one of you".

Her words were written ... IN HER JOUNRAL. Isn't she entitled to an opinion? Isn't she entitled to feeling angry at times or hurt or even just plain old grumpy sometimes? In the very first sentence of this "post in question" she said she was upset with LCF people for being "PART" of driving the site out of business. She didn't blame you all for taking it down.. she was mad because you all "directed" Kimmer to it. Obviously none of you knew that Kimmer was going to go and get it shut down.. and obviously none of us knew that KImmer's "reach" wasn't going to last long.

Becky is very mad at KIMMER... and on this particular day you all played a part in giving Kimmer something to get a hold of.

Becky also pointed out that the FAscination thread "has done a lot of good work". She also pointed out that she appreciates the value of the Fascination thread and the good intentions and contributions of many people there.

I know you all only want to look at her "angry" words... but I don't think it's fair to only look at someone's anger when they are trying to express themselves in a fair and balanced way. She isn't one sided and mean here.. she is pointing out the negatives AND the positives at LCF.

She doesn't say she wants the Fascination thread gone. She points out the fact that LCF has the original "HOW TO DO KIMKINS" thread there, and that people are still USING KIMKINS here. I know you all have a problem with that too don't you?

She points out that sometimes you all make remarks about people who are "innocent" in this matter. Can you honestly say that you have never said a rude comment about someone OTHER than Kimmer just to be funny? I think we have all been guilty of doing that at times, and it's wrong to excuse it and think it's okay to hurt someone's feelings "just because".

Becky constantly comes back to the point that KIMMER is the real problem here. Kimmer is who we are after. (we all agree on this right?)

She also has a very valid point in mentioning that SOMETIMES the "WAY" in which this thread goes after or ridicules anyone involved with this whole Kimkins debacle can get out of hand. And whether you would like to believe it or not... more often than not, it's the unneccessary comments that turn MANY people away from listening to your very VALID comments.

I for one can speak for myself in saying that while I was still at Kimkins.. and was totally ignorant about all of the fraud and lies and even unhealthiness... I saw this Fascination thread as a major turn off. I was insulted and disgusted by the tone that this thread often takes. And because I saw "ugliness" I was easily able to right off any "logic" and "truth" that came up inbetween personal stabs.

If it weren't for Becky, I NEVER would have considered that anything written on this site might have some truth to it. And Kimmer knows this. She plays it very well. She feeds the fire and then uses it to her benefit.

I think THIS fact is what Becky was really mad at deep inside. She has watched Heidi USE your tactics for HER benefit over and over again. And it's still happening.I know that you all are caring, strong, and very committed women. I know now that your intentions are the same as mine. (Get Kimkins shut down and Heidi in jail!) But it hurts me to see the way that you all still refuse to admit that you might be stepping on some toes along the way.

I (and BEcky too for that matter) appreciate all the exposing that you have done. I know how hard you all have worked... I've watched it play out right here on this board. But some of you may not realize that sometimes things need to stay BEHIND the scenes in order to actually accomplish things legally. Tipping of the enemy is not always the best game plan.

And when someone points out that you (the Fascination thread heros) aren't above reproach yourselves.. the first reaction is to poke fun at them and laugh at the idea that she might have a tiny bit of truth in her statements.

The saddest part for me, is that I'm actually shaking before hitting the SUBMIT button, because I know that this post might get some of you to say things about me that will hurt my feelings.

I just wish it didn't have to be this way."

AND TOOTER'S POST ON LCF:

"I am Sorry, Awaken, but I don't agree with you.

I don't think Becky is the Enemy and I don't think anyone else here thinks that. I Think she used poor judgement and was hurtful to the very people who saved her butt. I think the other thing that bothers people about this whole thing is that we were to be silent about it. Just like people were with Kimmer. Becky's post came through as "Do As I say and Not as I do".

You don't Vent in a Journal that is public and expect not to offend the people you are talking about. If you truly want something private, you do it in private. Not on a public board. She should have had a private Journal to do her venting.

Then when 2Big4Mysize went to her and tried to reason with her on how it sounded to everyone...She excused and justified her own behavior and people in her own thread were "Yes" people and "Haters" again. Jumped all over 2Big4Mysize. Brings back alot of Kimmer memories for all of us.

As I said before in this thread, Everyone gets burned out, and everyone has said things that they shouldn't at those times. And I do mean "EVERYONE".

The difference is, I see alot of apologies in this thread. I see nothing from Becky.

In the scheme of things, this will be old news by next week. People will still work with her. They just might not have the respect that they once had.That's her choice. If she wants to preach a "Standard" the first thing she must do is live by that Standard.

I think the biggest thing that is upsetting everyone on here and in the Blogs is that She is allowed to say whatever she wants, but we aren't. She's not the hater, WE are.

To people who actually fought for the truth Long before she got involved, that's a huge smack in the face. To say we can't react to that, is another.

Like I said, this will be old news in a few days. The choice is hers in how this all will be remembered."

Anipomoni and Tooter...thank you for stepping into the line of fire and shooting from the hip. Kudos to you both.


LINK TO ANIPOMONI'S POST:

http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/9653617-post2972.html


LINK TO AWAKENED'S POST:

http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/9648994-post2727.html

LINK TO TOOTER'S POST:

http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/9649102-post2728.html

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