Saturday, August 7, 2010


"Dear Medusa, it’s been a while...

I can't realize the situation I am right now; it's just surreal to me, after reading all those mails I'd sent to you.

I wish my story was published, but I don't know if my English is good enough or even my own story.

Anyways, I want to share it with you.

At first, I have to admit, I was reading your blog to get some information about disorders. Not to inform myself about the illness, but to get tips from every case.

I wasn't conscious about what was happening to me. I thought it was just diet, and not eating, or skipping meals was my "habit" for losing weight.

Well, my habit did work; I did not just lose weight, but my willingness to live, to enjoy and to stay here on Earth.

I was so depressed at the time, and confused because it was supposed to make me feel happy, but my weight was never good enough. And I'm still working on that.

I went to recovery because of my parents, and I thank them a lot, even though I didn't want it. I was forced.

Treatment wasn't easy at all, I went through hell. But I met the most wonderful people, and the other girls in recovery were angels that helped. I call them sisters of sorrow.

I had to leave the place because I was living in another city, at first with my mom, but then alone and it wasn't helping very much so I came back home to continue the treatment here.

I'm still battling with anorexia and bulimia after 5 years of not knowing it was an issue. I called it DIET (but it was really without the "T").

Here is a poem that one of the girls wrote me and I just feel it deserves to be shared with people that are still struggling as I am.
The reason I am here is because of them, the ones who care. After feeling nobody as if nobody did.

So that's my strength!

Thank you very much to have read

Sending you lot of love,

May Hope”

"Para mi linda May,

The reason that we met might not have been such a positive one,
but thanks to that, an undescribeable friendship had just yet to begun.

We understood each other more than anyone else possibly could
For we were always left... alone, feeling desperately misunderstood

We shared the mutual sensation as if were we in jail,
for any negative comment on our weight would upset us, even the smallest detail.

Before I met you, I chose to hide with and from what lived with me most
Like if I didn't live with it at all, as if it were some kind of ghost.

Food I would constantly forbid,
that's the problem that I always hid.

Until one day I arrived crying to some unknown place,
and the thing that I most remember was your warm and welcoming face.

Telling me that everything was going to be alright,
as if you were trying to guide me with some sort of light.

I could see the terror in your eyes,
as you tried to calm me cries.

All I wanted to do was to help you calm down,
even though I was the one with the frown.

As our friendship grew at such a fast pace,
I began to realize that you are not a friend at all that can be replaced.

You have helped me overcome so many things, so many fears,
please excuse me as I wipe my tears.

Always keep in mind, that although me maybe kilometers apart,
forever you will be in my heart.

For you to had to have fallen in this journey I call life, I feel blessed,
Maybe you can join me on the rest of my quest.

For when I saw that there was no point left to live anymore,
you helped me open my wings and soar!

Remember that I'm ALWAYS here,
whether we may be far or near.

You're one of my best friends,
and I know that we'll always be tight till the end.

~ Elis Donadel."

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May H. said...

this is me! love this blog is still "alive" miss u Barb thanks for everything

May H. said...

this is me!! I cant believe you blog is still "alive", miss you so much Barb, thanks for everything

Medusa said...

Hi, May! Lovely to hear from you! It's been a long time.

Hope all is well with you. From time to time, I will post on my blog (as time permits), so occasionally there will be a new post.

Take care, May! All the very best to you.