Sunday, October 31, 2010


My computer that just crashed was fried. Oh joy.

On Friday, my new computer arrived, and I'm still trying to sort out wires :^) I hope to have everything sorted out by tomorrow night.

Thankfully, my computer tech was able to save my e-mail so I hope to be responding and posting your stories this week.

Thanks to you all for your patience.

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Heidi Diaz (aka Kimmer) during her deposition

"Today, October 29, 2010, Judge Rick Brown of the Riverside County Superior Court entered a verdict for the plaintiffs in a certified national class action lawsuit. The court entered a verdict against Heidi Diaz the owner of the diet website for fraud and false advertising. The court awarded the class members restitution in the amount of $1,824,210.39. The court also awarded an additional $500,000 in punitive damages as well as attorney fees. The court then issued a temporary restraining order to freeze all of the assets of Ms. Diaz.

Most notably, the court also imposed an injunction requiring Heidi Diaz to post on all of her websites that: (1) she lied about her weight loss; (2) she lied about her after diet pictures; (3) she lied about testimonials on her website; and (4) she lied about the photographs used with the testimonials to promote the Kimkins website.

An injunction was also issued to prevent Heidi Diaz from contracting, harassing or cyberbulling the plaintiffs and the witnesses. A formal judgment will be entered before November 19, 2010.

The original complaint was filed over three years ago on October 15, 2007. I want to thank everyone who supported the class action lawsuit. The Ducks* were wonderful. I met a lot of great people and made a lot of new friends fighting for a good cause. Heidi Diaz lied on her website and made the fatal mistake of lying in the courtroom. You cannot trust Heidi Diaz. I anticipate more legal (illegal) maneuvering by Heidi Diaz to evade the judgment. We will be prepared and I will be relentless. Again, I thank all you.

John E. Tiedt
(Attorney for the Plaintiffs)

* "Ducks" is a nickname for the indefatigable former members of Kimkins who brought Heidi Diaz (Kimmer) to justice. Ducks not only lost money to Diaz because of her deadly diet, Kimkins...many developed eating disorders and other serious health issues.

You can read more about the deadly diet, Kimkins, and Heidi Diaz, by doing a search of my site.

Here is one of my posts from late last year:

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Monday, October 18, 2010


To all who have been waiting for me to publish their stories and answer their emails, I suffered another computer meltdown last Tuesday. It's currently being repaired, so I hope to be up and running again by the end of this week. If its injuries are fatal, I will have to replace it this weekend.

My apologies to all who have been wondering if I'd run off and joined the circus. Come to think of it, that sounds like a great idea right now.

Thanks to all for your patience.

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Tuesday, October 12, 2010


"Hi Medusa,

This is very hard for me to do. I am a young girl, about to turn 20, and I have one more year of college to go. I have read your blog for over a year, and truly think the stories you share are wonderful. Therefore, I would like to share my story with you.

I have lived all my life in third world countries. Since I have been 12-13, I have always been in the top 5 % of my class, I have always been the girl organizing social events, doing as much as possible outside school hours and so on. In some way, I always used to do as much as possible. And I still do. I even managed to get into a great college. There has just been one problem in my life: my self-harm and numerous EDs.

What I describe here above was not intended to sound conceited or anything like that. It’s just how many people see me. But, that is not how I would describe myself.

My EDs started when I was 13 and slightly overweight (I weighed 130 pounds at 5'2).

I used to be a ballet dancer, and for the institution I was dancing ballet at, I had to lose weight. Back then, I was too proud to do so, and decided to quit ballet. And here is where everything started.

As I was resentful at the ballet institution for wanting me to lose weight, a Tuesday night after eating a lot of food, I looked at my toilet seat and decided to throw up. I threw everything out. Even nowadays I can remember the blood I puked that one night. But things haven’t been any better since then; I would even say they have gotten a lot worse.

After my second purge, I started to cut myself on my arms. I felt as if my life was a BIG mistake. My parents noticed, and said: "Is everything ok? Do you need more attention?" I told them that everything was OK, and stopped cutting, for a while. I started soon after to cut, but this time, hiding my cuts. And so I went on puking and cutting until I turned 16.

When I was 16, I had actually gained weight (and a lot of it). I weighed 186 pounds at 5'5. And a day at school some guys from the grade above were making a list of "the ugliest girls at school", I got number 3. They hang it in the hallway. I remember all my friends saying stuff like: "Ann u are not ugly! really!!" or "Ann u are not ugly! just a little chubby!!" But I won’t ever forget what it felt like to feel all of people’s stares, and pity. And that’s the day I started losing weight as a crazy: less than 4 months later I was 125 pounds (so I had lost over a 30% of my body weight in just a few months!).

Of course, my parents where thrilled (at first). They had been pressuring me to lose weight ever since my ballet school told me to do so. But when my nutritionist warned them about the excessive amount of weight I had lost (and which was abnormal for that short time period) they started to worry. I even passed out 2 times at school. All of this got my parents to threaten me to send me to an ED institution (even though I was not yet underweight). And again (just like it happened with my cutting habits) I told them it was OK, I would stop losing weight. But of course, I didn’t.

I hold on to that weight (with a few variations for a few months) but then, after a guy I REALLY liked left me for another one, I started losing weight again. I had gotten to 111 pounds in just a month. I remember my intense happiness the day I stepped on the scale to see "111" on the screen. I was 17 going on 18 by that time. And even though I know that intense happiness was wrong, I am almost sure it was the last time I felt really happy.

Now, I'm 19, I weigh almost 145, and have gotten back to my bulimic face. And even with all my ups and down with my weight, my parents don’t seem so concerned. Even with their "threats", they never did. I love my parents, but I wonder whether they haven’t realized during these last 7 years that there was something not right with me, or that they are just too afraid to see.

The worst part is: my dad works for this big worldwide company that fights hunger around the world, and I feel like such a hypocrite for wanting to starve/be thin. I have seen several undernourished kids with my own eyes, and even though I know it’s not healthy, I can’t stop to wish to be so thin that all you can see are bones and skin. I know it’s not right, but I can’t stop loving bones. I feel so tremendously guilty, and yet, I can’t stop. And the worst thing might be the fact that I have never admitted to anyone to have a problem but my best friend (who knows only a short part of the problem).

Many people have confronted me; I always deny it. And believe me when I say I know it’s wrong, but there is something with cutting, stop eating, binging, puking that I need. I would like to not have this, but I can’t stop. And even though I have had many things in life, I still am not happy. People keep on saying how pretty or beautiful I am, how well I've done stuff in my life, and all I do is to question myself to know why I’m still living.... I’m trapped in a hidden world; a part of me wants to get out of it, but another part of me feels like I can’t.

I used to think when I was 16 "this will pass, it’s only a teenager’s thing", but as I’m starting my 20th and many people tell me I act as a much older person, I’m starting to doubt about the end of this. I guess what I want to say is: I have been keeping inside me a huge secret, a secret that still has no ending...

I hope this message isn’t too long, I only want to get better, and I know the right way to do it is to start talking about it. This might be my first attempt to try and get better.

Thanks for your work,

Hugs to all,

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Monday, October 11, 2010


"I just want to say that your site means so much to me. I'm in recovery for an eating disorder and there has been many times where I wanted to (or did) fall back into old habit and sometimes just clicking on your site has helped to snap me out of it. It’s nice to know that amid all the pro-ana garbage out there that there’s at least one site that doesn't spew the myth that anorexia and bulimia will make us better people.

Here’s my story…

I had had issues food-wise almost my whole life but it didn't get bad until my sophomore year of college. I started off restricting. I'd put all the food I was allowed to eat into little Ziploc bags. The whole week’s worth probably only added up to 1000 calories.

I started going to the gym everyday for hours. I neglected schoolwork and friends (ugh, how I regret that now). I started the year off at 155, which isn't a bad weight for me since I'm quite tall at 5"8, but I felt like it wasn't good enough and so I pushed my body to lose weight.

I started purging and abusing laxatives. Anything and everything I ate was usually purged up. My friends knew something was up but I wouldn't admit anything, until one night I got drunk and ended up crying about how I had broken my fast.

I woke up the next day hoping they wouldn't remember what I'd said, but they did. They told me that unless I went to a counselor they would tell my family. I was pissed but I went. Unfortunately the counselor I went to was nice but inept at treating an eating disorder. I'd sit in her office and be asked the same questions over and over until I thought I would scream. But it kept my friends happy and so I went every week.

One night after having an emotional breakdown I called my mom and admitted to her what was going on, but the response I received was not at all what I expected. When I told her I had an e.d. she asked how that could be when I wasn't thin? I was devastated and redoubled my efforts to lose the weight I thought I needed to. (now I can see that my mom was just uneducated about what an e.d. looks like).

I ended the year at 127, but I still wasn't happy. I went home for the summer still dedicated to lose as much weight as I could. At the end of the summer I was down to 118 lbs and went back to school hoping for even more weight loss. I was miserable. I had wasted all summer exercising or purging or taking naps because I had no energy.

My grades were suffering too. I had been a 3.5 gpa student and now was at a 2.0. I was realizing that the e.d. was the reason I was miserable. I went back to the counselor and asked her to recommend someone who specialized in e.d.s. Luckily, there was a person near campus who could fit me in. I didn't really think she'd help but I wanted to at least see if it'd be worth my time to go. So I went and really didn't commit to recovery until a couple months in, when I was evaluated at an eating disorder treatment center and told that they wanted to admit me. My insurance wouldn't cover it though so I was left feeling like there was nothing I could do.

But there was. I could actually work with my therapist and TRY. It was such a simple concept and so I told her that I wanted to really try at recovery. It’s been hard, there are so many days where I just want to go back to the way things were, that feeling of numbness that my e.d. gave me, but that didn't solve anything, it just added to my stresses.

I have had days where I do fall back into old habits, but now it’s harder to justify those actions to myself, because I know that I do have a right to a healthy body."

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I'M SO FAR BEHIND... replying to your e-mail and posting your stories. 

Work has been hectic since my return from holidays and I've been putting in a lot of overtime this week.  It looks like it won't be until this weekend that I'm able to deal with the backlog of e-mail from August, September & October and start posting your stories. I feel badly that I haven't had the time.

Please bear with me.  I'm just a little overwhelmed.

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Sunday, October 3, 2010


Porter, 12 weeks old, after digging a hole in our backyard :^)

It seems like forever since I've posted. Our trip was fabulous, and at the end of it, we picked up a new addition to our family....Porter.

Porter is an Australian Labradoodle and the most incredible little guy. He's quite a character and keeps us on our toes. These pics were taken during a few fleeting moments when he wasn't tossing toys in the air, digging holes, or trying to drag clothing out of the laundry room.

Could he be more adorable?

Thanks to everyone who sent me their stories while I was away. I will do my best to get them posted this week. I hope to be able to respond to all of your emails, as well, this week. As I work full-time in a busy job that involves a lot of overtime, please bear with me if you don't hear back from me by the end of this week.

It's great to be back. I've missed you all.

~ Medusa

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