Monday, July 28, 2008


UPDATE (see end of post)


As Festivus is my favourite yearly celebration, especially the Airing of Grievances, I’ve decided to move the celebration up a few months and address a recent occurrence which shocked myself and my fellow bloggers, Prudentia and Yust Yucky.

Before I go into details, I wish to make one thing perfectly clear. Prudentia has been publicly keel-hauled by many of those involved in taking down the Kimpire over her "Friendly Fire" post she made months ago to Martina’s Martini. She has kept her counsel and never defended herself. That blog post was made for a very specific purpose, which I’m not about to reveal.

At the time, Yust Yucky (Mimi) and myself were sounding boards for Prudentia, who had an onerous task on her shoulders and was being hit by unfriendly-fire shrapnel left and right (and still is). The post "worked" and Trista was extremely grateful for Prudentia putting herself out there and helping her. And Martina’s Martini crawled back under his rock.

Recently on the Fascinated board, Mayberryfan got her knickers in a twist and left the board. On July 18th, 2008, Mayberry posted the following in the comment section of her blog:

"Mayberryfan said...

I appreciate your thoughts and thank you for sharing them. I have NO intention of endangering anyone involved in the previous group. I am not out to HURT anyone, well except for Heidi Diaz, and only by legal means. I understand the need for the blogger in question to be hidden. I gave you my word that I will not reveal what you revealed to me, and I won't. You can bank on it.

As for the comments you list here from Jo, it has been explained that she made them in an emotional state. There are more issues there than you know and they have absolutely NOTHING to with any of this. They are personal. Please do your best to understand and let it go. I've said before, this wasn't intended as a pejorative against all the anti-KK bloggers. After all, I happen to be one of many in that group. Perhaps you don't consider me as part of that group, and you have a right to your opinion.

I will take your word that Prue is a good person. I didn't realize who she was at the time, but she sent a nice comment to me when my uncle died recently. We just see this particular issue differently.

In PM's to you and on your board, I have said that there are no hard feelings. It's time to let this go. Best of luck with your group. I hope you dig up some great stuff that can be used to get Kimkins closed down forever and protect people from the likes of Heidi. That is what were all working for, after all.

As for what v0x meant, you'll have to ask v0x.

Thanks again and let's let this go, okay?

July 18, 2008 8:38 AM"

(bolding and underscoring mine)


Well, imagine our surprise when, on July 24th, 2008, Mayberryfan contacted Trista, one of the lawsuit principals, with this charming missive, which I am posting here with Trista’s consent:

"Dear Trista,

First of all, I want to assure you this information is not meant to be hateful towards anyone. You may or may not be aware that I had a falling out with Mimi and Medusa recently over some of the activities going on at their forum. They have a right to run things there the way they see fit. But, ethically, I disagree with them, so I left of my own accord. I have no hard feelings towards them. We are just very different people. I am also not trying to stir up any drama. My only reason for coming to you is out of a sense of obligation. As such, I would ask that what I'm going to say to you here be kept in confidence.

In any case, I know from working with Mimi and Medusa for months behind the scenes that they have gathered info on anyone and everyone who's even remotely connected to the Kimkins scandal. (Witness what happened to Christin at Mimi's blog concerning Christin's post-wreck fundraiser and the LC cruise Christin is putting together). In any case, I have NO proof that they contacted your ex-husband, but I believe they did. I firmly believe this is how he learned of LCF and posed there as Martina, several months ago. One of the issues with me choosing to leave their forum was a little brouhaha that involved how Prudentia handled the Martina episode. Something does not wash with their story. Pru is claiming it was a "friendly fire" incident which makes absolutely NO sense to me!

Prudentia, Mimi and Medusa are all very tight. But, Mimi has been pretending for months that she didn't know who Prudentia is. In fact, Prudentia got mad at me for some unknown reason and Mimi contacted me to ask what was wrong. It was around the time that the Martina stuff happened. Mimi's asked me several times over the past few months why Pru was mad at me, all the while pretending she didn't know Prudentia's real identity. When Mimi let it slip to me in a pm who Pru really is, I started to put things together. Mimi begged me not to tell her identity because Pru is afraid of your ex after the Martina debacle. I understand that and promised not to give her ID to anyone. However, all this leads me to believe Mimi, Medusa and Pru were in on trying to learn more about you and contacted your ex. After all, Pru hadn't been blogging long when she was contacted (as she claims) by your ex. It seems more likely to me he would've contacted some other blogger if that's how he found out about your involvement in the KK scandal. Do you know of any other way he could've gotten involved?

I want to be clear that I'm not accusing them of purposely trying to hurt anyone. But, I have witnessed their wreckless behavior before and feel strongly they are only involved in all this in order to write a book or get a movie deal. I don't believe now, as I once did, that they are working for "the greater good" as I believe most of the Ducks are!

If I'm right about this, then I thought you deserved to know. From what I understand, your ex is a scary guy who shouldn't be messed with. That's why I felt I had to share my suspicions with you. I fear in their zealous pursuit of information, they may have put him on your trail, so to speak. Then again, I guess it could've been Heidi. But the whole thing with him contacting Pru just does NOT make sense to me, unless THEY contacted him.

I know this is all complicated, so if you have questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to clear things up. I've learned in the past few days that many people in the Ducks are wary of Mimi and Medusa, so I don't think my suspicions are unfounded at all. Otherwise, I wouldn't have ever mentioned this to you!

Take care! [Mayberryfan's real first name deleted]

P.S. if you know or even believe that I'm mistaken about this, please tell me! I'd actually really like to be wrong on this one! "

Mayberry, your contacting Trista at this time with this heap of garbage is not only mystifying but outrageous.

For someone who states she has "no hard feelings towards them," you’ve done a pretty good job at casting aspersions on our characters.

And because I am adverse to having misinformation circulating out there, I would like to address some of your false suppositions and accusations:

"I know from working with Mimi and Medusa for months behind the scenes that they have gathered info on anyone and everyone who's even remotely connected to the Kimkins scandal."

That is complete and utter hogwash.

(2) "...I have NO proof that they contacted your ex-husband, but I believe they did."

You are not only incorrect in your supposition but delusional if you believed this for one second.

"However, all this leads me to believe Mimi, Medusa and Pru were in on trying to learn more about you and contacted your ex."

More hogwash.

(4) "But, I have witnessed their wreckless behavior before and feel strongly they are only involved in all this in order to write a book or get a movie deal."

Are you out of your mind? You truly believe Pru, Mimi, and I are blogging our asses off and working behind the scenes so we can write a book or get a movie deal??? You really are delusional, Mayberry.

(5) "I don't believe now, as I once did, that they are working for "the greater good" as I believe most of the Ducks are!"

You have got to be kidding.

(6) "P.S. if you know or even believe that I'm mistaken about this, please tell me! I'd actually really like to be wrong on this one! "

You are wrong on all counts.

Although many will no doubt feel this matter should be dealt with behind the scenes, the fact that Mayberry is spreading such irresponsible rumours about Prudentia, Mimi, and myself leads me to believe that Trista may not be the only one she has contacted with this tripe. And that is why I am going public with this.

Mayberryfan, your past actions have raised eyebrows within the anti-KK community, but your contacting Trista with this reprehensible hogwash goes beyond the pale.


The following comment was made by Prudentia this afternoon on this blog post:

"Prudentia said...

Medusa, first of all, let me say that I'm sorry that your friendship with me has resulted in MBF's guns being leveled at you as well.

Also, just so no one wonders how Trista reacted, I am going to post part of her reply to MBF here. Please note that I have done a bit of editing [as noted] to prevent personal information from being broadcast on the blogs.

From Trista to MBF:

Here is how I think John found out. He wanted [what he believed were legal remedies to be happen] so he could be rid of his financial obligation. He googled my name, and up pops paperwork on the Kimkins lawsuit. He said to me that when he found out about Kimkins, he researched ALL about it. Knowing him, he read EVERY post on the boards and every blog. He knew more of what was going on than I did. I fact he kept making little comments about ducks, and saying quack. I thought he was just off his rocker (not surprising) making these comments. I hadn't been following along at LCF in months. Anyways he was trying to get me to agree to [what he wanted], which is what we wanted anyway, and had already begun paperwork. He was a pain in the butt until [this business] was final, and I haven't heard from him since. I don't really care how he found out, or who gathered info. There is nothing about me, that I'm afraid for people to find out. I don't believe that Prudentia, Mimi, and Medusa contacted him. I mean why out of the blue, would they get the bright idea to contact him? Why? It's not anything that would help or hinder the case. No info about any of us, has any bearing on the case. KWIM?

So, as you can see, Trista does NOT believe what MBF had to say. She is fine, and she is in this fight against Heidi to the bitter end.

MBF's attempts to stir up a public outcry against us failed - IN THIS CASE. I don't fear Martina's Martini. I fear someone running around, half-cocked, trying to create drama for their own sake, regardless of the repercussions and consequences.

July 28, 2008 4:29 PM"




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Wednesday, July 23, 2008


From an ana forum:

"THIS IS TO THE GIRL WHO SAID SHE "WANTS" TO BE ANOREXIC... think starving is a good way to lose weight, do you? I think you've read too many fairy tales. Well, this isn't one. Neither are eating disorders. They are sheer & total HELL. But, since you want one, I'll go ahead & prep you for it. I'll let you know exactly what will happen to you. If this doesn't make you realize how completely stupid running out there & trying to develop anorexia is, then I wish you the best of luck in killing yourself. Because that's all you'll be doing.

The completely ironic part about people trying to lose weight by starving is that half the time it does not work. I bet you think you'll wind up insanely thin & gorgeous, right? Wrong. You won't be gorgeous .One thing's for certain. Insane is a definite part of the package. Your mind won't be yours anymore. Kiss it goodbye, I hope you didn't enjoy it.

The less you eat, the lower your metabolism goes. You might starve & starve & barely lose anything...or you might be extra might starve & starve & gain weight. Your body might just shut itself down & the weight go nowhere. & even though you aren't losing, you'll still be HOOKED. You still won't be able to stop. By the time your body shuts off from malnutrition, you'll be too far in it to *snap* think "Oh...this isn't working...I think I'll eat again."'ll be desperate & eat less & less & work out more and more. Eventually, you won't be ABLE to work out. Your muscles will eventually stop cooperating. Then you'll panic & try & eat even less to compensate for not being able to work your ass off (simply a figure of speech, since you're not losing any weight, of course). By then you can't eat less though. You're barely eating enough to stay alive as it is. & you can't stop. It isn't working & you still can't stop. & whether its working or not, you won't see the truth. You'll never actually know what you look like. matter what you'll think you must weigh at least four hundred pounds. This is true if you weigh 150 or if you weigh 70. You will be fat. Insane is the proper term for it, isn't it? Yes, you might just be one of the lucky ones, one of the ones that doesn't lose weight. But don't sit there & think that means you won't be sick. Not true...not true at all. Your skin & hair will be dry, your teeth sore, your period gone, your bones aching, your muscles cramping...well, no need to go on. You still want this, of course. After all, you won't be like that. You won't be one of the failures. You'll be successful; you'll be thin & perfect. Beautiful.

Well, since you're going to win, why don't I tell you about your prize, hmm?? It's quite nice. You will be skinny. You will be sickly thin. Your ribs will stand out & your hipbones will be sharp. You won't see it. You'll look in the mirror & see fat. You'll see rolls. You'll look at girls who weight fifty pounds more than you & wonder why you can't be as thin as they are. You'll look in the mirror everyday & swear that you've gained at least ten pounds. Other people will see you shrink but you won't get to watch. You'll never see the truth. Others will though. You'll be sickly skinny...but you won't be pretty. & they'll all see that. You won't'll be too busy staring at your ass & wondering when you turned into your fat Aunt Bertha. You will not be attractive. You won't. You'll have huge dark circles. Your skin will be pasty pale & have a lovely gray tint to it. Makeup will NOT help this. It won't, so don't think it will. Don't even bother to attempt it. You'll be wasting your time; time that could be better spent doing your usual pastime, staring into the pantry to watch the food. Of course, people might not notice that you're gray. They could be too busy staring at the dark black, blue, & purple spots you're covered in. Everything you do will result in a bruise. Everything.

Do you have pretty hair? You won't anymore. It will be straw dry & dull. It will not shine. Think conditioner will help? It won't. It won't & there's no sense in trying it. It might soften your hair for a while (after you use half the bottle, of course) but it won't make your hair look any better. Buy a ponytail holder. You'll need it. You'll probably be wearing it all the time. You'll also need some hair dye. I sincerely hope your hair isn't a nice color....because it won't be soon. Yes...the color of your hair will fade out. You might even get grays. But gray is a nice color, isn't it? I rather like it. I think the grayish brown color where my natural red and blonde highlights used to be adds a bit of...oh...dignity to my look.


Speaking of hair, do you like facial hair? I hope so. You'll have it. I have some lovely sideburns. Quite gorgeous. Actually, I have sexy hair everywhere. Fuzz, fuzz, fuzz. It's hot. All the guys love it and all the girls I know ask how to get some. They're jealous, you know. I tell them how I got it, starving. They never attempt it...I know why though. Its not because they're smart &, no. Its because they're weak. Not strong like me. Of course, my muscles are deteriorating as we speak & I can no longer use even my five pound weights but I'm still strong, aren't I? Yes...because I don't eat. & that's true strength, isn't it? Denying yourself the basic fuel you need for life. Yup...strong & smart.

I bet you're one of those girls will the enviable natural nails. Those shiny ones that are so long people sometimes think they're fake? Cut them. Go ahead & cut them off now. They'll only break soon anyway.

Kiss your newly gray hair goodbye too. It'll be falling out about now. You get to clean the drain about 6 times during your shower, just so the water will go down.

Also, you'll need to find a way to throw away your tampons to make it look as if you've been using them. Remember to tell your mom to buy you tampons once a month. Can't have her knowing you lost your period. & you will. I hope you're not having sex because you'll never know if you're pregnant or not. I guess you can just take a test every few weeks. & can still get pregnant. I hope you don't love the baby though, because chances are you'll lose it. It would probably be for the best if you did though because of the nice birth defects caused by eating disorders. So, you might get to live with the knowledge that your child died or had to go through life with a terrible disability because of you...but it was worth it for thinness. A small price to pay for perfection, even though you're not the one paying it. Who needs their full mental capabilities anyway? I hope your kid doesn't. But that might not be a problem. You might never have children. You might become infertile. Oh well...pregnancy makes you fat anyway.

Since you're one of the special ones, one of the anorexic ones, I'll bet you enjoy ice water. Pour it out. Drink plain water, warm diet coke. It hurts too badly to drink iced drinks. You're taking sensitive teeth to a new level. Forget those special toothpastes though. They don't work when your teeth are slowly dying from vitamin deficiencies. Never liked those teeth anyway. Dentures are nice.

How do you like to sit? like your legs crossed? Hmm...too bad. Can't do that anymore. Your legs will fall asleep all the way up to your hips. Painfully asleep. This isn't like what you're used to, that tingly feeling. This hurts. A word of advice. After uncrossing them, just sit there. Don't try moving them or hitting them to wake them up. Bad idea...very painful. Don't stand up either, unless you enjoy collapsing.

Fainting is common too. & don't think this is something you can hide. Whenever you pass out dead in the living room in front of your mom or brother they'll wonder why...and unless they're complete idiots they'll probably know why...especially if you're 30 pounds underweight. Get ready for nagging. Eat this, eat that, why are you doing this to yourself??

You could always go to your room to escape though. Then you can lie in bed & bite your lip until it bleeds...why would you want to do that, do you ask? Because of the leg cramps, of course...oh! I must've forgotten to mention those! Oooh...the cramps are nice. Your muscles are balled into excruciating knots. You'll double over to massage the knots out and...what? There are no knots. There IS no rubbing the knots out because there are no knots. It just feels like it. There's nothing you can do. You just get to lie there & try not to scream. & trust'll want to. Of course, you could always rub your legs might make you feel better to pretend there's something you can do to help them. But you might not be thinking about your might be distracted by the headaches. Take some aspirin...oooh...or don't. Your tummy's too empty; it'll only make you throw up everywhere.

It's worth it right? Anything's worth it, even your hair, nails, bones, muscles, possible children, your family's heart, everything. Sacrifice it all, throw it all away. You're thin now, that's what counts, even though you don't know it.

You'll probably get chest pains. Maybe heart flutters. This is scary too, because you never wanted to die, you just wanted to be thin. But remember, you can't tell. Telling is forbidden & asking for help is weak.

Do you have problems with depression? You do now. The less you eat the more depressed you become. Partially from vitamin deficiencies, partially from your lovely eating disorder. Do you have problems with insomnia? That's right, you've got that now too. You're exhausted beyond belief but you still can't fall asleep...& when you do you can't stay asleep. Who needs sleep though?? Not you. Staying awake burns more calories anyway.

Do you do well in school? You don't now. You can't concentrate. Your mind won't function, & the only thing you can actually think about is food anyway. Your grades will fall. Want to recover? You'll probably have to leave school. How does repeating a grade sound?

Do you like going out with friends? You won't for long. You'll be afraid someone might notice how obese you are. You can't leave the house now without hiding under tons of're terrified someone might see your repulsive body. You'll become more nervous too. Jittery. You'll also have difficulty talking. Oh...have you never had a stuttering problem? Well, you do now. You also forget what you wanted to say alot. Goodbye memory. And you can't go out with friends anyway, so I guess it's a good thing you no longer enjoy it. If you go out with friends they might want to eat! Maybe they'll want to go to a restaurant or the movies. How can you explain that you don't want any popcorn? How can you find an excuse for sitting there at the table sipping Diet Dr. Pepper or nibbling a salad & water while everyone else has cheeseburgers?? You can't. & they might make you eat. You can't do But why do they want you to eat? Is it because they care? No. Its because they WANT you to be fat!! How dare they?? They're jealous...that's it, they're jealous. Soon you'll realize something. Everyone wants you to be fat. Your parents, your siblings, teachers, friends. The world is against you & they all want you to spiral into morbid obesity. Get away from them. All of them. They don't understand & they're plotting your downfall. You can't have that, you can't lose this. Every time someone urges you to eat or recover "for your health" you know the truth. They hate you & want you to be fat. Push them away. Push away all the people who love you. That's the only way you'll ever be thin.

Israeli model, Hila Elmalich, RIP


Isabelle Caro

But one day this will be over. One day you will either die or recover. Death is easier. First you'll have to admit you need help (that is, on the chance that you haven't been forced into recovery...recovery that will not work until you cooperate). This is one of the hardest things you've ever done. Maybe you'll tell your mom. She might be wonderfully supportive, she might've already known. Or maybe she won't think you have a real problem. Then you're on your own. Maybe you'll tell your doctor. & if you tell your mom, she'll take you to a doctor. Then its better. You're safe now, they'll help you. They'll understand. Wrong. A degree is not an insurance against ignorance. & speaking of insurance, it only pays so much on mental health problems. And ED treatment costs are outrageous. So, even if you find a doctor that knows his ass from a hole in the ground you might not be able to get help. You might not be able to afford it.

As you recover, your school might have to know. Your teachers will not understand. Students might find out. They won't understand either. Their comments will hurt, you'll want to scream when they ask why you don't just eat. They might call you fat just for fun. Someone might start to admire you & try to become anorexic too...but then, you've been there. You wanted to be anorexic once & you never realized how stupid you were. You know it now, but it's too late. Its too late & you have to fight this or die...& fighting it is the hardest thing you've ever done. You'll put food in your mouth, that disgusting, terrible food & panic & want to cry. Maybe you will cry. Maybe you'll freak & spit it back out. Maybe you'll refuse to eat & get a lovely feeding tube. Triggers are everywhere & you want to kill yourself more with each bite you swallow. Maybe you will kill yourself. Maybe you'll fight & fight & enter recovery only to die while in recovery or even afterwards from complications caused by your years of having an eating disorder.

After fighting for the longest time, maybe you will get out. Maybe, after numerous slip ups & times that where so hard you thought you'd die, you recover. It takes a while. Even after you've eaten right for months & months your body still isn't the same. You start to wonder if it will ever be the same again. It might, but you won't. No. This will always be a part of you, it will never go away. Years later it will still be with you, you will still have those moments. Sometimes you'll pass a mirror & suddenly be 200 pounds larger. You'll panic & shake your head, trying to clear the image away. Something will happen in your life, maybe you'll lose your job. Something will happen to take away your control & you'll try to gain it back through starving. You will NEVER be the same. You'll see an article on a someone with an eating disorder & you'll start to cry, remembering that terrible pain. I'm not talking about the physical pain. That's the only pain I described, because it's the only part that's describable. There are no words for the mental anguish. It can never be described. It's unimaginable. You'll never feel another pain like that, another pain so filled with self loathing, vulnerability, terror, rage, desolation...

WHY do you want this?? WHY?!? I know, even after reading this, that you're still sitting there, wanting this. Why? What is it you want?? Is it beauty? Do you honestly think you won't be like this?? Do you honestly think malnutrition won't steal your looks? Is it glamour? READ THIS. Show me the glamour. Is it control?? Let me tell you, you'll NEVER be more out of control than you are when you have an eating disorder. You don't control what you put in your mouth. Hell, you don't even control your thoughts. You have NO control. None.

Do you honestly think that you'll be able to do this & not wind up this way? Do you think you are the one person on earth who can control this, who can just stop??? Do you think that maybe you can just do this, get thin, & stop?? WRONG! It doesn't work that way. Do you WANT to die? Do you want to be a martyr or something? Do you think this is beautiful? I bet you think its some sort of tragic beauty. Its not. There's nothing beautiful about it. Do you want some attention? Buy a new eyeliner, dance naked in the streets. Needing attention is a natural thing but there are a hell of alot better ways to get it.

Father of sisters Luisel Ramos and Eleana (aka Eliana) Ramos, who both died from anorexia, at the funeral of Eleana

Eleana Ramos, RIP

Luisel Ramos, RIP

Do you want to look at your family's faces & know that you're killing them too? Imagine watching your child killing themselves, imagine your helplessness, imagine KNOWING that they're dying & KNOWING that there's NOTHING that you can do. Imagine fearing the day you'll come home to find them dead from this. Just sit there & try to think about it. Of course, while you're starving yourself you won't see that anguish. You won't be able to. You can't see anything, you're too self absorbed. You're too busy thinking about your weight, about food. You'll see it when you recover though & you'll hate yourself for doing that to the ones you love. You'll wish there was something you could do to erase it but there is nothing. You just have to live with it...& living with it is hard. Especially when you think of how many times your anger came out on them, how many times you got nasty when they were only trying to save your life. You'll hate yourself.

Young girl who died from a ruptured stomach


But do you know what? Self-hatred is the least of your worries now. Because you've likely just signed your own death warrant...& you likely don't even care...yet. But you will. You will care. You will care & you will cry & rage & swear you'd give anything to take it all back. But it's too late, because by the time you're in deep enough to care, you're already dying. Its too late to snap out of it now, no matter how much you want to.

This is the reality of anorexia. It is nothing like the powerful articles you read on how so & so overcame it. It is nothing like the beauty you see when you look at that thin model. It is nothing like that beautiful popular girl who naturally weighs 80lbs. It is nothing like anything you've ever lived before & you will never be the same."


The section, QUICKLINKS TO MEDUSA'S POSTS ON EATING DISORDERS, on the right-hand side of my blog has other posts on Luisel & Eleana Ramos, Hila Elmalich, Isabelle Caro, Ana Carolina Reston, Aimee Moore, lanugo (facial & body hair), etc.

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Friday, July 18, 2008


Photo of Heidi Diaz/Kimmer taken by Robert Charlton, PI

For those who were following the story of the deadly Kimkins diet and its founder Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer back in the fall of 2007, the day that the pictures and video of Heidi Diaz were released caused our jaws to collectively hit the floor.

Heidi, as captured on film by Robert Charlton, Private Investigator and owner of Alliance Investigative Services, was not the svelte woman she had led people to believe but a morbidly obese woman weighing over 300 pounds. Finally, there was the physical proof that Heidi Diaz/Kimmer was, indeed, a liar and a fraud.

Robert's photos and video were subsequently used by not only Chip Yost of KTLA but by The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet.

Although Robert was given credit by KTLA for a few seconds the first time their program aired, he was not given credit by KTLA in their follow-ups. And no credit was given to Robert by The Morning Show for their usage of his photos or video. So I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank Robert for all his efforts in capturing Heidi Diaz on film.

I know you have questions you'd like to ask of Robert about his surveillance of Heidi Diaz and his capturing her on film. Please post your questions for Robert in the comment section of this blog post, and Robert will answer your questions there.

Kudos to Yust Yucky (Mimi) for this brilliant idea and for contacting Robert to arrange this Q & A. And many thanks to Robert for agreeing to participate.

Robert's waiting, so fire away :^)

And please take a moment to visit Robert's blog and website:


The Alliance Report:

Out of the Loop RE: KimKins/Heidi Diaz

Private Investigator's Notes: The Surveillance of Southern California Diet Scammer Heidi Diaz of Kimkins

Company Website:

Alliance Investigative Services:

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The "Patio Chair/Lawn Chair" fake Kimmer

One of the many fake "after" pictures that Heidi Diaz/Kimmer posted on her Kimkins.con website last year to depict her fraudulent weight loss continues to intrigue me. The picture has never been found and/or the woman identified.

Many posters on the Fascination with Kimmer (FWK) thread on Low Carb Friends searched for the picture but never found it.

So I have decided to have a contest in an attempt to quench my insatiable curiosity.


The person who is able to find the original picture of the mystery woman and provide me with a link or tear-sheet of it in its original form, will win a $25.00 gift certificate from

So all you super sleuths, start digging :^)

And for those of you who are unfamiliar with the many fraudulent pictures Heidi Diaz/Kimmer used to depict her non-existent weight loss, here is a copy of my post from January of this year:



*SNATT: "Slightly/Semi-Nauseous All The Time (a Kimkins-ism," and a "good thing," according to Heidi Diaz, but not in the Martha Stewart kinda way)

As a result of the airing of ABC’s Good Morning America show yesterday featuring the Kimkins diet scam and the fraudulent, Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer, many of you are searching madly off in all directions for the fake pictures of the scammer Heidi Diaz...and not only her own fake before-and-after pics but those of her fake Kimkins success stories.

Heidi has gone through many transformations using fake "before and after pictures," which she posted on her Kimkins website to show her amazing weight loss, the most famous fake picture of all being of Lesya, whose picture Heidi photonapped from a Russian bride site.

As well as her own fake pictures, Heidi photonapped pictures of other Russian brides to depict fraudulent weight-loss success stories on her Kimkins website.

Below are photos depicting Heidi’s amazing fatification-thinification-fatification journey from the past to the present:

Pre-2006...The Real Kimmer

The real Kimmer

The many faces of Kimmer
(NOTE: the picture on the far right of the woman in the white dress has also been determined to be fake)

The "Patio Chair/Lawn Chair" fake Kimmer

(if anyone recognizes this woman, please leave a comment on this blog post or e-mail me!)

Kimmer's famous fake "after" picture using the photo of Lesya, the Russian bride.

And a fake Kimmer "after" photo (from the Woman's World Magazine feature) using Tatiana's picture:

Russian bride link- Hotrussianbrides Profile Page
Full Length pic-Tatiana
Also seen here- Tatiana

Kimmer...both real pictures

Kimmer's recent photoshopped weight-loss picture on Kimkins:

The real Kimmer from her deposition in the civil suit in November 2007

Picture of the real Kimmer from January 2008

The wonderful and amazing HoneyBee2 posted every one of those fake Kimkins success-story pictures, which were found by the wonderful ladies (Duck Detectives) at Low Carb Friends (LCF), on her blog at LCF.

Click the link below, which will take you to HoneyBee2's blog at LCF, to view Kimmer's fake success-story pictures.

This scam pulled by Heidi Diaz on members of Kimkins, who joined her Kimkins website in the belief that these "amazing" success stories were true, shows just how devious Heidi truly is:

And now a warning to anyone considering joining Kimkins...

The Kimkins diet is a deadly starvation diet created by a fraudulent, lying, evil, remorseless, unconscionable scammer, Heidi Diaz aka Kimmer. Caveat emptor.


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Wednesday, July 16, 2008


The anti-psychotic drug olanzapine, used to treat schizophrenia, may also help patients with anorexia.

Encouraging news on the research front...


"Drug helps anorexia patients gain weight, feel happy

Updated Mon. Jul. 14 2008 3:35 PM ET News Staff

A drug used to treat schizophrenia may be a new tool to help patients with anorexia gain weight and control their obsessive thoughts about food.

New Canadian research has found that when anorexia patients take olanzapine, they gain weight, feel calmer and do not have the obsessive thoughts about weight and food that characterize the debilitating condition.

Dr. Hany Bissada

The research was led by Dr. Hany Bissada, a psychiatrist at and director of The Ottawa Hospital Regional Centre for the Treatment of Eating Disorders. The study included 34 women with anorexia who were enrolled in the centre's day program for anorexia treatment.

Patients were given either a placebo or the anti-psychotic drug olanzapine, one of the side effects of which is weight gain.

The findings are published in the American Journal of Psychiatry.

The researchers caution that the drug is not a cure for the disease. Patients with anorexia need counselling and often have to work with a dietitian or nutritionist.

However, the medication allows patients to be more open to getting treatment.

"It is an important finding because, for the first time, it gives us hope to say there is a medication because even though it is not a cure, it can help facilitate treatment for anorexia nervosa," Bissada told CTV News.

Anorexia nervosa affects about 0.5 per cent of women between the ages of 15 and 24.

Patients become obsessed with being thin and have a fear of being overweight. They become emaciated, which can lead to a number of health problems. Patients often don't believe they have a problem.

"Denial is a big part of the illness," Dr. Wendy Spettigue of the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario told CTV News. "So patients often don't recognize it and, if they do, they are often too afraid to get treatment."

Anorexia is the most fatal of all psychiatric disorders.

Debbie Wiseman (see her video interview below)

Debbie Wiseman was one of the study participants. Before enrolling she weighed 69 pounds. She felt fat, unpopular and was afraid that anything she ate would make her gain weight.

"It came to a point where I wanted to die because I was not happy with myself," Wiseman told CTV News.

After she started taking olanzapine, she began to gain weight and feel happier. And she noticed that she was no longer afraid to have a piece of pizza or a chocolate bar.

Now she is a healthy 115 pounds, and she believes the drug is directly responsible for her improvement.

"If I didn't take it I don't know that I'd be here today," Wiseman said.

With a report from CTV medical specialist Avis Favaro and senior producer Elizabeth St. Philip"

Watch the full interview as Dr. Hany Bissada discusses the drug's new use:

Debbie Wiseman talks about treating her anorexia. Watch the full interview:



Olanzapine in the Treatment of Low Body Weight and Obsessive Thinking in Women With Anorexia Nervosa: A Randomized, Double-Blind, Placebo-Controlled Trial

Hany Bissada, M.D., Giorgio A. Tasca, Ph.D., Ann Marie Barber, M.A., and Jacques Bradwejn, M.D.

OBJECTIVE: Anorexia nervosa is associated with high mortality, morbidity, and treatment costs. Olanzapine, an atypical antipsychotic, is known to result in weight gain in other patient populations. The objective of this trial was to assess the efficacy of olanzapine in promoting weight gain and in reducing obsessive symptoms among adult women with anorexia nervosa.

METHOD: The study was a double-blind, placebo-controlled, 10-week flexible dose trial in which patients with anorexia nervosa (N=34) were randomly assigned to either olanzapine plus day hospital treatment or placebo plus day hospital treatment.

RESULTS: Compared with placebo, olanzapine resulted in a greater rate of increase in weight, earlier achievement of target body mass index, and a greater rate of decrease in obsessive symptoms. No differences in adverse effects were observed between the two treatment conditions.

CONCLUSIONS: These preliminary results suggest that olanzapine may be safely used in achieving more rapid weight gain and improvement in obsessive symptoms among women with anorexia nervosa. Replication, in the form of a large multicenter trial, is recommended.

Link to Full Study (requires registration)


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Saturday, July 12, 2008


Following the lead of Italy, France, Spain, and the UK, the fashion industry in Germany has signed an agreement that models appearing in ads and on runways must be 16 years old and have a BMI of 18.5.

Let's hope the German fashion industry abides by this agreement. Unfortunately, the fashion industries in the UK, Italy, and France have turned a blind eye to the agreements they signed and continue to use ultra-thin models on the runways.

Here's the news report from Germany:

"German fashion industry says 'no' to anorexic models

July 11, 2008

Underfed models will have no place on the runways or in ads of German fashion houses, according to a voluntary agreement signed on Friday by German fashion industry representatives and sponsored by Germany’s health minister.

The charter requires that models at fashion shows or appearing in advertisements have a body-mass-index of at least 18.5 – a European dress size 36 – and be 16 years old.

"We want to take a clear stand against an unhealthy body image,“ said Health Minister Ulla Schmidt.

The agreement was signed by fashion trade fair organizer Igedo, the industry federation German Fashion, the German Fashion Institute and the Velma federation of licenced modelling agencies.

While the agreement in Germany does not require a doctor’s certificate, as a similar charter in the UK does, Schmidt called it a "milestone“ in the fight against eating disorders. She said she hopes other sectors, such as the advertising industry, will sign on to the agreement, and that it could be the foundation for a Europe-wide charter.

Ana Carolina Reston

Frank Hartmann, director of the fashion trade fair organizer Igedo, called on the industry to show "that dying of hunger is not part of the job.“ The case of Brazilian supermodel Ana Carolina Reston, who died of anorexia two years ago at the age of 21, was a wake-up call to the industry.

Gerd Müller-Thomkins, director of the German Fashion Institute, criticized the "distorted aesthetic ideas“ of designers, who tend to prefer very thin models.

Around 600,000 people between 15 and 35 years of age in Germany suffer from anorexia or bulemia. According to research carried out by the Robert Koch Institute, about 22 percent of young people between the ages of 11 and 17 have some kind of eating disorder. Among 17-year-old girls, the number is 30 percent. One in ten people suffering from anorexia dies from it.

The advertising industry has been strongly critical of Health Minister Schmidt. The Federation of the German Advertising Industry (ZAV) has accused the industry of using populist and misleading arguments and refused to take part in the initiative."

To read my previous posts on the fashion industry and their use of ultra-thin models, please click these links:







The Guardian also has an excellent article about Ana Carolina Reston here:,,1987945,00.html


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Thursday, July 10, 2008


bulimia, anorexia

This video won "Best Documentary" at the Colorado College 2006 Film Festival. Roughly based on "Letter to Ana," by anonymous, online. Dir. Ross Palmer. Starring Emily Zinn, Naomi Botkin.

~Letter From Ana~

Allow me to introduce myself. My name, or as I am called by so called "doctors", is Anorexia. Anorexia Nervosa is my full name, but you may call me Anna. Hopefully we can become great partners. In the coming time, I will invest a lot of time in you, and I expect the same from you.

In the past you have heard all of your teachers and parents talk about you. You are "so mature", "intelligent", "14 going on 45", and you possess "so much potential". Where has that gotten you, may I ask? Absolutely nowhere! You are not perfect, you do not try hard enough, further more you waste your time on thinking and talking with friends and drawing! Such acts of indulgence shall not be allowed in the future.

Your friends do not understand you. They are not truthful. In the past, when the insecurity has quietly gnawed away at your mind, and you asked them, "Do I look...fat?" and they answered "Oh no, of course not" you knew they were lying! Only I tell you the truth. Your parents, let's not even go there! You know that they love you, and care for you, but part of that is just that they are your parents and are obligated to do so. I shall tell you a secret now: deep down inside themselves, they are disappointed with you. Their daughter, the one with so much potential, has turned into a fat, lazy, and undeserving girl.

But I am about to change all that.

I expect a lot from you. You are not allowed to eat much. It will start slowly: decreasing of fat intake, reading the nutrition labels, cutting out junk food, fried food, etc. For a while, the exercise will be simple: some running, perhaps some crunches and some sit-ups. Nothing too serious. Perhaps drop a few pounds, take a little off of that fat tub of a stomach. But it won't be long before I tell you that it isn't good enough.

I will expect you to drop your calorie intake and up your exercise. I will push you to the limit. You must take it because you cannot defy me! I am beginning to imbed myself into you. Pretty soon, I am with you always. I am there when you wake up in the morning and run to the scale. The numbers become both friend and enemy, and the frenzied thoughts pray for them to be lower than yesterday, last night, etc. You look into the mirror with dismay. You prod and poke at the fat that is there, and smile when you come across bone. I am there when you figure out the plan for the day: 400 calories, 2 hours exercise. I am the one figuring this out, because by now my thoughts and your thoughts are blurring together as one.

I follow you throughout the day. In school, when your mind wanders I give you something to think about. Recount your calories for the day. It's too much. I fill your mind with thoughts of food, weight, calories, and things that are safe to think about. Because now, I am already inside of you. I am in your head, your heart, and your soul. The hunger pains you pretend not to feel is me, inside of you.

Pretty soon I am telling you not only what to do with food, but what to do ALL of the time. Smile and nod. Present yourself well. Suck in that fat stomach, dammit! God, you are such a fat cow!!! When mealtimes come around I tell you what to do. I make a plate of lettuce seem like a feast fit for a king. Push the food around. Make it look like you've eaten something. No piece of anything... if you eat, all the control will be you WANT that?? To revert back to the fat COW you once were?? I force you to stare at magazine models. Those perfect skinned, white teethed, waifish models of perfection staring out at you from those glossy pages. I make you realize that you could never be them. You will always be fat and never will you be as beautiful as they are. When you look in the mirror, I will distort the image. I will show you obesity and hideousness. I will show you a sumo wrestler where in reality there is a starving child. But you must know this, because if you knew the truth, you might start to eat again and our relationship would come crashing down.

Sometimes you will rebel. Hopefully not often though. You will recognize the small rebellious fiber left in your body and will venture down to the dark kitchen. The cupboard door will open slowly open, creaking softly. Your eyes will move over the food cupboard door will slowly open, creaking softly. Your eyes will move over the food that I have kept at a safe distance from you. You will find your hands reaching out lethargically, like a nightmare, through the darkness to the box of crackers. You shove them in, mechanically, not really tasting but simply relishing in the fact that you are going against me. You reach for another box, then another, then another. Your stomach will become bloated and grotesque, but you will not stop yet. And all the time I am screaming at you to stop, you fat cow, you really have no self-control, you are going to get fat.

When it is over, you will cling to me again, ask me for advice because you really do not want to get fat. You broke a cardinal rule and ate, and now you want me back. I'll force you into the bathroom, onto your knees, staring into the void of the toilet bowl. Your fingers will be inserted into your throat, and, not without a great deal of pain, your food binge will come up. Over and over this is to be repeated, until you spit up blood and water and you know it is all gone. When you stand up, you will feel dizzy. Don't pass out. Stand up right now. You fat cow you deserve to be in pain!

Maybe the choice of getting rid of the guilt is different. Maybe I chose to make you take laxatives, where you sit on the toilet until the wee hours of the morning, feeling your insides cringe. Or perhaps I just make you hurt yourself, bang your head into the wall until you receive a throbbing headache. Cutting is also effective. I want you to see your blood, to see it fall down your arm, and in that split second you will realize you deserve whatever pain I give you. You are depressed, obsessed, in pain, hurting, reaching out but no one will listen! Who cares?! You are deserving; you brought this upon yourself.

Oh, is this harsh? Do you not want this to happen to you? Am I unfair? I do do things that will help you. I make it possible for you to stop thinking of emotions that cause you stress. Thoughts of anger, sadness, desperation, and loneliness can cease because I take them away and fill your head with the methodic calorie counting. I take away your struggle to fit in with kids your age, the struggle of trying to please everyone as well. Because now, I am your only friend, and I am the only one you need to please.

I have a weak spot. But we must not tell anyone. If you decide to fight back, to reach out to someone and tell them about how I make you live, all hell will break lose. No one must find out, no one can crack this shell that I have covered you with. I have created you, this thin, perfect, achieving child. You are mine and mine alone. Without me, you are nothing. So do not fight back. When others comment, ignore them. Take it into stride, forget about them, forget about everyone that tries to take me away. I am your greatest asset, and I intend to keep it that way.

Sincerely, Ana

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Laura Gerstel

She was young, beautiful, bright...and tortured by bulimia, cutting, and depression.

On November 25, 2007, after leaving a poignant farewell message at 2.46 a.m. on Facebook, 20-year-old Laura Gerstel was found by her friends, hanging by a red ribbon from a banister in her flat in a residence in Fulford Road, York.

Laura's last heartbreaking message on Facebook was
"Laura is thinking 'if only...'"

From the Yorkshire Post:

"Tragic student's website farewell

Published Date:
04 July 2008

By Paul Jeeves

A STUDENT with a history of eating disorder and self-harm was found hanged by her housemates less than two hours after leaving a farewell message on the Facebook website.

An inquest held in York yesterday heard that "bright and bubbly" Laura Gerstel, 20, had spent a weekend Christmas shopping with her mother and appeared happy.

But hours later her flatmates found her body hanging from a banister – shortly after she had updated her status on the social networking website to read "Laura is thinking 'if only...'"

She had left a note referring to her believing that she was overweight and "not wishing to live this way".

In a statement Ms Gerstel's father, Antony, said she had begun self-harming when 12 and was suffering from the eating disorder bulimia at 16.

She had briefly been referred to a psychiatric hospital after her parents had found cuts on her wrists and legs.

Mr Gerstel's statement added: "She would not let us help her. But when she was at university she sent us happy texts and sounded fine."

The third year biochemistry student at York University was from North Berwick in Scotland and her mother had visited her before leaving on the evening of November 25 last year.

House tenant Emma Wellard had been asleep at 4am the following day when she was woken by the screams of another housemate.

Her statement said: "I came out of my room and saw Laura suspended from a red ribbon tied to the bannister. My housemate phoned for an ambulance.

"I had known her for two years. She suffered from bulimia, took anti-depressants and did cut herself."

Miss Gerstel's poignant final Facebook message was posted at 2.46am.

Coroner Donald Coverdale rejected a verdict of suicide as Miss Gerstel had drunk the equivalent of two-and-a-half pints the previous evening. Mr Coverdale noted that Mr Gerstel had mentioned in his statement that his daughter "became compulsive" when she drank.

Returning an open verdict, the coroner said: "This is a very sad story. Laura had suffered from a number of medical and psychiatric difficulties, and unfortunately had harmed herself in the past by cutting herself.

"I am not aware of any previous attempts to take her own life. The note she left referring to her thoughts and feelings that she was overweight connects to her psychiatric difficulties.

"The level of alcohol she had consumed may well have impacted on her judgement. Because of the uncertainty about her motives and the state of her mind due to the alcohol, I am going to record an open verdict. I'm afraid we shall never know what was in Laura's mind."

None of Miss Gerstel's family members were at the inquest.

Miss Gerstel's close friend and fellow York University student, Robin Corey, said: "Everyone who knew her loved her. She was one of the few people who it was always a genuine pleasure to be around and talk to, always so bright and bubbly and full of fun and laughter.

"I think I speak for my circle of friends when I say having Laura on a night out made the whole night more enjoyable.

"It's always such a shame when someone dies so young, but for Laura she was always so full of life that it seems all the more sad. She was genuinely one of my favourite people."

A York University spokesman said Miss Gerstel's death had come as a "shock to everyone".

He added: "She was an enthusiastic and bright student, popular with staff and her fellow students, and she is missed greatly."


Laura's death is an unspeakable tragedy. If only....

Please...if you are suffering from bulimia, self-harm/injury, anorexia, depression, or suicidal the hotline numbers at the links below:



For those who are unfamiliar with self-harm/injury, more information can be found in this post:



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Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Aimee Moore

Aimee Moore

NOTE: To read the latest update on Aimee's condition, please click here:


Following the news yesterday that Aimee Moore had been admitted to Credit Valley Hospital in Mississauga, Ontario, for tube feeding, the following article appeared in the Globe and Mail.


Glorifying illness - or helping out?

July 9, 2008

It is a private moment played out in bedrooms each day: a young woman standing in the mirror, checking herself out.

Except in this case, the reflection was of a skeletal 60-pound woman named Aimee Moore, poking the spots on her concave stomach where she wanted to lose weight. And instead of being private, those images were broadcast to the world.

This week, less than five months after appearing on the Dr. Phil show, the 28-year-old Stratford, Ont., woman who suffers from anorexia and bulimia was admitted to a Mississauga hospital where she will be fed through a tube and treated to heal her damaged digestive system - an update that has already been published in several Ontario newspapers.

Like others who have suffered from an eating disorder, Ms. Moore has sought media exposure in a bid to find the help she desperately needs and steer others away from the illness that has consumed her life for 16 years. "She and her mother are working to try and help other people," her father, Dave Moore, said yesterday from his home in Stratford.

But some experts say that that exposure, in some cases, can be a catalyst for the disease - and holding a mirror up to the horror may do more to perpetuate the illness than prevent it.

"I don't see the advantage for the patient," says Hany Bissada, director of Ottawa's Regional Centre for the Treatment of Eating Disorders. "Television [thrives on] shock effect. That's good for Dr. Phil. But it doesn't do anything for the patient. In some twisted way, it glorifies her illness."

Ms. Moore was 14 the first time she was hospitalized for her eating disorder. By 18, her story became public after her mother, Pat Moore, who had founded an eating disorder support group, shared their struggle at a public forum. Ms. Moore later told a Kitchener-Waterloo Record reporter: "I feel a lot more free now."

But on Feb. 25, Ms. Moore appeared on Dr. Phil weighing 60 pounds. She described herself as fat, evil and hopeless. Cameras filmed her vomiting into a garbage can, then gulping down food in the middle of the night. She described how she would eat vomit to induce gagging.

Ms. Moore had reached out to the show, not the other way around

"If I don't get help soon I don't think I'm going to survive," Ms. Moore wrote in an e-mail to a producer. She had tried several other treatment clinics in Ontario and the United States without success.

Since the show aired, Ms. Moore's progress has been chronicled in several front-page stories in the Kitchener-Waterloo Record. Some outlined the intimate details of her life: the diagnoses of mental illness, the hasty marriage that failed, the childhood abuse by a stranger, which her mother said led to her daughter's eating disorder.

Mr. Moore said he didn't find the show sensational. "It's what goes on," he said. "I have to live with it all the time."

Anne Elliott, program director of Sheena's Place, a Toronto eating disorder clinic, says in some cases, media exposure can raise awareness and encourage people who are struggling to seek help.

But after viewing a clip from the Dr. Phil show, she said people may take the wrong message because Ms. Moore's case is so extreme. "I'd be worried that people would see that and say, 'Well, I don't look like that so I don't have a disorder,' " she said.

Without the root causes of eating disorders being shown, she added, people may adopt a "blame the victim" attitude. "She's suffering from a serious illness... ," Ms. Elliott said. "I would worry that people would see her and say, 'Well, she just needs to eat.' It is about eating, but it's not that simple," Ms. Elliott said.

Dr. Bissada, a psychiatrist, said that those with eating disorders may be afraid that if they get better, they'll be forgotten by relatives and friends. In some cases, Dr. Bissada said, media exposure can fuel that desperate need for attention. In others, they are seeking treatment, which can be a positive outcome.

In April, Ms. Moore returned to Ontario after seven weeks at Magnolia Creek, an Alabama treatment centre where she'd been treated free of charge since appearing on the Dr. Phil show. She needed medical help because she now has a stomach condition that makes it extremely painful to take in food.

Ms. Moore will likely be at Credit Valley Hospital in Mississauga for at least a month, Mr. Moore said. His wife has rented a place nearby and plans to visit every day.

Once Ms. Moore's stomach improves, she has been invited to return to the Alabama clinic for free treatment. "She wants to go back there," Mr. Moore said. "But she has to get herself stabilized and functioning again."


What do you think?

Does media attention raise awareness and help prevent eating disorders or glorify and perpetuate them?


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