Saturday, July 10, 2010


Dear Medusa,

Tonight was the first time I have ever visited your blog, and tonight is the first time I have ever wanted to recover from my ED.

Last year I was diagnosed with anorexia. I was 17 and finishing high school, and lost 18 kg in 5 months. It has been the worst time of my life. I have been hospitalised twice, and have become half the person I used to be.

I am studying law, champion dancer and have amazing friends and family, but yet I still feel I don’t deserve to have this amazing life and so therefore continue to punish myself. I am now at the tail end of my weight gain process as I have gained 9 kg since I was diagnosed, however the threat of hospital still remains.

I feel your website is the only one I have ever been on that shows anorexia for what it actually illness. It is NOT fun to be skinny, you are NOT happy, or more successful. It will end your life.

Luckily I have been treated quickly and so I will be able to make a full recovery. My mum has anorexia and I have seen the damage it has done to her.

I want girls to see the reality of anorexia. It is nothing like anyone could ever imagine. Once you experience it, you will never get away. Next time girls look at a thin model, I don’t want them to look at her ribs and hip bones, but and look at the emptiness and self-hatred in her eyes. Next time girls look in the mirror and see how fat they are, find your true beauty through your intelligence and family and friends around them.

When we all leave this earth, no one will ever remember you for how much you weighed, but by how many lives you touched and achievements you accomplished. Anorexia took every single positive aspect of my life, and some of these I can never get back. However, at least I now know that what I say is so much more fucking important than how I look.

Thank you for allowing me to want to recover tonight. This is the first time in my recovery that I have decided I don’t want to look like this anymore. I am finally doing this for me, and no one else.

Kind regards,
Colleen* xxxx


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Anonymous said...

I am so happy to read that you are wanting to get better! I am finally in recovery after being hospitalized so many times and it feels amazing! It is so damn hard gaining weight, but after finally starting to feel better and I am ready! Just do it slowly with the help of a doctor, and I know you can do it. :] Keep it up, girl!

Anonymous said...

Hey its been three years, how are you holding up girl?