Wednesday, March 19, 2008


With everyone jumping on the apology bandwagon, I guess it's my turn.

My apologies to the following:

Sandra Kay whose front tooth I knocked out at the water fountain in Grade 1

Betty Burnett whose knee still carries the end of the lead pencil I imbedded there in Grade 6

Dougie Darmody who I slugged during "Spin the Bottle" in Grade 8

My brothers for forcing them to eat rice pudding when Mom and Dad were out for the evening

My brother, Alan, for telling him he needed a tablecloth to blow his nose because it was so big

The neighbour down the road for walking on his newly seeded grass after he put up a sign, "Warning: Do not walk on the grass."

The firemen in the City of Calgary for starting a brush fire in the tumbleweeds behind the Stampeder Hotel on the MacLeod Trail

The families whose flowers I stole from the graves of their relatives at the Chinese Cemetery so I could give them to my mother

The cemetery custodian for riding Wahoo, the horse, through the graveyard and jumping headstones

The policeman in Quebec who stopped me for speeding but let me off when I said "Je ne parle pas Francais" when I understood every word he said

My brother, James, for shaving off all his hair resulting in him having to wear a toque all summer

My DH for making Nanaimo Bars and hiding them in the linen closet so I wouldn't have to share them (if you want the recipe, e-mail me)

My girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, who I told looked "fabulous" in an ill-fitting, gaudy dress...

Phew, I could be at this all day, so I'll leave it there.

If you feel you're due an apology, chime in right away. I don't know how long these feelings of remorse and repentance are going to last.


Follow on Buzz


MrsMenopausal said...

Oh crap... you have no idea what you've just done to the conscience of this aging Irish Catholic girl. Do you not know the guilt instilled at the moment of birth of ones such as I?

I wonder if I can track down the phone number of Kevin Bosco who, during his fairly daily poop-the-pants episodes while awaiting the big yellow school bus ride to home, was met with the vision of the nose holding, green faced 5 year old of my past.

Medusa said...

OMG! Poor Kevin, he of a spastic colon and weak spincter muscle. I hope you realize you've scarred him forever, MrsM. LOL!

Isn't it wonderful taking a trip down memory lane?

If you need help tracking down Kevin, let me know. I'll put my skip tracer on the job.

MrsMenopausal said...

Do I still have to apologize if when he's tracked down it's discovered that his pants suspiciously sag in the back end and he's taken to collecting and professionally mounting specie samples of various flies and stinkbugs?

I'd just like to add:

Dear Dad,
The cat didn't randomly choose your hamper full of uniforms to have her kittens on. My bad.

Unknown said...

Medusa just be glad you are no Heidi having to do an apology blog post!

But I loved reading some of the bad things you have done in your past and no, you don't owe me an apology for anything. LOL

Anonymous said...

Good point HB -- whatever our crimes non of us are Heidi.