Monday, September 24, 2007

Psychic Rations' brilliant take on Kimkins and Kimmer

I've copied this very funny post from Psychic Rations' blog in case you missed it. She's "all over" Heidi/Kimmer and skewers her right, left and centre.

Psychic Rations should win the Nobel Literary Prize for her brilliant and humourous writing. Click on this post's title for the direct link to her blog.

"September 22, 2007

The Slimmer Kimmer That Wasn't

I once read a post on blog etiquette (can't recall where) and it stated that it was a bloggers responsibility to comment on current affairs. Just for today I am going to fulfill my responsibility because I would like to feel like a conformist little netizen - today it's my civic duty as a low-carber to give you my take on the Kimkins scandal, or as I have affectionately dubbed it KimmerGate - Controversy at it's best. I'm not sure exactly how it all came to the crescendo it has but I'm pretty sure I've read the most of it. Unfortunately I don't have the time to into the nitty gritty details because I do have to go get cuticle balm this morning. Still, I am doing my best to give you an outline and lots of places to go to check out this juicy bucket of gossip that is deliciously irresistible.

First of all I just have to say that I have never tried, nor advocated Kimkins and I have paid no money for access to the Kimkins site. Hell I don't even know anybody who has been on Kimkins, so of course I am the perfect person to get up and give my opinion on it because I've read it all and have duly formed one of my arsey little opinions - think of me as your back-seat driver.

Now we get to the good part. I honestly never thought I would find a bigger scammer than Dr Phil, but it would seem that she is out there going by the name of Kimmer (aka) Heidi Diaz - although, the lady in the spotlight would have you believe otherwise at the moment (see further down for explanation). Here are some pictures - supposedly Kimmer/ Heidi. I got these pictures from Low Carb Friends:

She says she is ALL of these women but No SILLY! Ha ha ha, you funny girl you *tsk* because DUDE, no matter how skinny you get, unless you work on the set of those Mission Impossible movies (aptly named dontcha think?) you can't change your AGE or your BONE STRUCTURE. So I went ahead and put my own slant on things. I think it looks much much better.

It would seem that this lady here

has decided that she knows something about diet and nutrition. She started out on Low Carb Friends saying that she had lost 200lbs in 11 months. Thats almost 91 kilos! Holy shamoly - uh oh I can smell something .. is it ..bullshit? Oh, did I really say that? Anyways, she copped a few nay sayers on Low Carb Friends because some said her pictures were dodgy (Nooo! Really?) so she took herself and a few followers off to set up her own website where you had to pay to get access. She says she took the Atkins diet and the Stillmans diet and 'tweaked' them to come up with Kimkins. Really what she did is only known to her because to the rest of us it just looks like she wanted to starve a bunch of people to death. According to people on Kimkins forums she was saying that you can live on 400 to 500 calories and its GOOD - a perverse diet limbo of how-low-can-you-go. She even made up her own clever little abbreviation called SNATT. Stands for Semi Nauseus All The Time and it's the place you want to be on Kimkins! Want some undies or a mousepad with that on it? Head to her online shop and you can buy yourself up a storm (okay maybe not the undies, but the mousepad is all go). So in the land of Kimmer the urge to ralph 24/7 is a good thing, wonder what our Dr Phil would have to say about that? As nutty as that bastard can be, he at least has a staff of researchers to make sure the shit he says can be sourced/verified by some mostly innocuous credible extrapolations. Not to mention he has qualifications. Unlike Heidi who just uses the force to concoct her crap without so much as a sniff of a degree or common sense.

As you can imagine people started getting sick and some developed nasty little eating disorders while on the Scamkins Kimkins program. They were losing hair, getting all nauseous, feeling dizzy - pretty much unable to go about their daily business as usual for the fatigue and side effects of this preposterous eating plan. I am sure I heard somewhere they had an egg white challenge, I shit you not - egg whites only diet - hmmm very nutritious. Unfortunately when the sickly folk asked about these issues on their support forums they were shoo'd under the carpet. They mustn't have been following the plan properly according to Kimmer. There are a bunch of stories at Kimkins Survivors you can take a peek at if you want to.

Then some dumbass magazine

went and ran a story about how this diet was better than gastric bypass surgery and they printed the fake pictures crediting them to one of Heidi Diaz's aliases, Kim Drake (Heidi's middle name is Kimberly and Drake is her mums middle name apparently). According to folk out there on WWW this brought in about 40 000 members. I can't be personally sure of those figures but you get the gist that she copped a stack of members and a stack of cash as Kimkins memberships had soared to $60 a pop. A lot of people are really annoyed at womens world because they showed the journalistic integrity of Patrick Poivre d'Arvor. Nice going and good to see that the magazine was concerned with health of their reading demographic. When Womens World were contacted they got a bit pissy and ordered that the people using this image of their magazine cover to cease and desist (thanks slamboard for the picture). To date they have not printed a retraction. I guess they figure they don't have to be morally responsible because they are a trash magazine. I will note in future that if I ever come across a copy (we don't get it here in Australia) I shall use it for toilet paper. But I strongly suspect when used in such a manner it will fail in it's purpose by only spreading the crap around rather than cleaning it up - oh look! You can parallel that with the publication and distribution of the Kimkins Story *HEE!* Two words, fact-checking people.

From what I can ascertain things kept getting worse with more people getting sick/ questioning Kimkins advice and many started being banned as anti-Kimkins, jealous of the plan because they were too weak to follow it. Fast forward to Heidi Diaz's ex business partner hiring a private investigator out to figure out what the frock was going on with all of this because throughout all of this nobody had ever met kimmer! What was discovered was that Heidi Diaz has disappeared up her own arse, evidenced here:

This really is a picture of Kimmer. So if she has lost 91 kilos and is now 118lbs (53kgs) she claims she is, then I am an anorexic. Seriously dude it looks like her left cheek alone is 53 kilos. Please, take no offence fat people of the world for I walk among you but come-the hell-on! What universe accepts THAT as 53 kilos? At the claimed weight she should packing a nice little pair 'o peaches, not giant fucking pumpkins ready for weigh in at the fair. I think she might have lied a little on her resume - oopsie!

It seems that the private investigator discovered that Heidi Diaz is a bald (like Telly Sevalis bald), morbidly obese woman. Again oopsie! So all the advice she has given her members has been shall we say, a tad misguided. She has also made some other bogus claims including:
Being a foster parent for which she accepted fundraised moneys for the kids - in her defense she was a foster carer ... just she had the kids removed .. cause they got drunk .. while she was drunk ... a long long long time ago .... in a land far far away HAHAHA - god I make me laugh!


Her success stories that advocate the Kimkins way of living are shyte - she has lifted internet pictures to make the 'after' shots more dramatic in her success stories(unfortunately one was a known model - oopsie!). Interestingly she has a testimonial from a person who is dead (which could be an accurate account if it were included in the endorsement that they are dead; who knows if it is Kimkins related but they are really dead. So I guess Heidi has a Ouija board and some followers from the afterlife because I think this person has been dead a while). She also made up a blind person who gave a smashing review, she supposedly met Heidi at a braille institute. Again with the oopsie because the institute hadn't heard of her. Darn those pesky telephones!

There is much much more but the clock is ticking and I really do need that cuticle balm.
Now, in a wrap up three of her Admins resigned.
Becky is really worth reading because she is squealing like a piggy, Christin's is okay but doesn't get right down the to harcore nitty gritty like Becky, and Deni gives her side and thats about it. All pieces in the puzzle if you want to get the full picture. Also worth a squiz is The Truth because they are posting up things from the private Admin Forum and Pm's - it has a juicy gossip factor of 9.5, if they give me something really truly damning (like say a picture of Kimmer wharfing the number two special at her computer while giving out diet advice)I am not afraid of giving a 10. See. never let it be said I am a tough-love judge.

It would seem that the good ship Kimtanic is going down as someone has started a class action lawsuit, Heidi seems to think this doesn't matter because she has started denying that she is Heidi (HAHAHAHAHAHA) hmmm ok, but if you wade through all the posts here thats a weensy sccotch unbelievable. All Kimmers details match Heidi' Diaz's and throughout the evolution of this debacle Heidi has gone from being the lady of the hour herself, an employee, a business partner, a relative and incidentally is the person who receives all the money, but now all of sudden she ISN'T Kimmer - uh huh, hold on while I don my dip-shit mask so I can look like I believe that. I suppose she is trying to implement plausible deniability, except she isn't plausible and is being outed by her ex-husband too - how bad does that suck. Now the Kimmer camp are saying without documented medical evidence nobody has a leg to stand on which would be largely inaccurate because Kimmer has sold a diet plan through misrepresentation. Its known as fraud. Imagine buying a tin of baked beans because the label states they are baked beans, but when you get the can home and you open it you find it was really sardines; not just any sardines, but sardines that can make you quite sick. This chunky monkey seems to think everyone out there is a wee bit stupid! Whats worse is said chunkey monkey is listening to the legal advice from an eager to please admin who is using a very limited foray into the judicial system as basis for her assvice advice. I must reiterate I am in no way being comprehensive here, you really should follow all the links to get a true gauge for the extent of the scam Heidi Diaz is running.

There are a whole bunch of additional links that I should put here but haven't because again, my cuticles are screaming so with that I will leave you this parting piece of advice - if it's the size of Yeti and is doling out stupid dietary advice involving laxettes and low calories for weight management for the ample price of $60, then run .. I think you just met Kimmer.

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KimkinsSurvivors said...

Bless you for your efforts in helping others to heal, both through humor and reason. Your caring and kindness impact so many who are seeking to heal. Thank you for your selflessness in this endeavor.

~Kimkins Survivors