Friday, April 4, 2008

TIPS FOR REAL WOMEN...




LADIES:

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

REAL WOMEN:

If you over-salt a dish while you're cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

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LADIES:

Stuff a miniature marshmallow at the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.


REAL WOMEN:

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You're probably sitting your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.

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LADIES:

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.


REAL WOMEN:

Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

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LADIES:

Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.


REAL WOMEN:

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares!

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LADIES:

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

REAL WOMEN:

Go to the bakery...they'll even decorate the son of a b*tch for you.

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LADIES:

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.


REAL WOMEN:

Sara Lee frozen freakin' pie directions do not include brushing egg whites, so I don't do it.

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LADIES:

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.


REAL WOMEN:

Go ask the very hot neighbor guy to do it.

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And finally the most important tip....

LADIES:

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.


REAL WOMEN:

Leftover wine??

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LINKS:
Pictures:

http://bigisbeautiful-marie.blogspot.com/2007/09/real-women.html
http://www.winestoreblog.com

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11 comments:

kimkinscam said...

OMG - too funny!

I am guessing now, that I am a "real woman" and can forget about trying to be a "lady"

Thanks Medusa, for giving me a good laugh this morning. I may have to pass this along to a few of my friends. Too Funny!

Medusa said...

MJR! The tips sure made me laugh, so I just had to pass them on.

Delighted to have given you a good laugh this morning.

PS I'm a Real Woman, too :^)

theTRUTH said...

I have heard of left over whine, but never left over wine!

Medusa said...

ROFL, Truth!

Yucky said...

{{{Medusa}} Great blog post! lmao! Thanks for helping get the weekend started off on the right note!

MrsMenopausal said...

I don't know if I should be admitting this but ... the potato trick really does work. :D

As for # last.. Amen!

BamaGal said...

Is it possible to be a lady and a real woman too??

I've done ALL of these at one time or another.... :)

theTRUTH said...

Bama Said: "Is it possible to be a lady and a real woman too??

I've done ALL of these at one time or another.... :)"

Than I say yes. Definitely proven possible.

Medusa said...

LOL, Bama!

The day I freeze leftover wine into ice cubes, I hope someone puts me out of my misery.

theTRUTH said...

Unless you are making wine pops for a stealthy summer treat...

Kat said...

lol...real women unite!! loved it..